Languish

At umasa pa nga ako... POTEK!

Well, what do you know? Even weirdos feel new weird feelings. Ahaha! It's not really serious, just entertaining myself with lovesick thoughts. Feeling good and bad vibes lately and at the same time. They're confusing me about how to feel for certain things. All in all, they're telling me I need change and it's about to happen one of these days. Whatever! We'll just see...

Anyway, exams are over and... I'M FREE! YEEEESSS! Ahaha. Yay me! My friends are planning an outing this Saturday but with only 300 bucks in my pocket, I'm not so sure if I can come.. Dang! Chances are.. I might miss out on this one.. again.. like last year... bummer! Aw!

Just thinking.. What if your gut feeling's telling you that you're dying soon.. or tomorrow.. or a few minutes from when you started getting the strange feeling? Are you going to push through what you've been holding of for so long, for years? How will you prepare for your departure? And why am I asking this? I've just read some parts of my friend's blog that I've never tried to read. He wrote the entry a few days or weeks, not sure, before he died. He was given signs, he felt it was coming, he was scared and.. I can tell that even if it's easy to say, you don't really get to ready yourself instantly. I always say that the only thing I fear is the day that I have lost fear of anything because he who fears nothing loves, and loving nothing makes you less of a human but what if my instinct, or some psychic feeling I have tells me that soon it will be my time to go, how will I possibly feel? How am I going to handle that? And knowing that I haven't done yet everything I wish to have done in my life before I retire, and then realize that I'm going to die, how can I be ready to depart? When you're being told that you're next, will you still be given a chance to do that one last thing you wanted most of all even all the others you wished were not granted? Okay, look. I'm not trying to be morbid (my gothic days will be laid to rest until the next gloomy day of my life befalls me) but I'm just so filled with so much hope that the word ETERNITY is being sang inside my heart. If you've heard Gary V's song In Another Lifetime that said, I do believe what wasn't meant to be wasn't meant for now and someday you'll see, In a place and time we never know, I'll be standing there waiting for you, you'll know what I mean.

lovesick.. lovesick.. i'm just a little lovesick.. carry on with your lives.. don't mind me..