Talagang binitin pa.

Grrr.

And the thrill is killing me. If having to wait for hours isn't enough, I have to wait for another 2 days to see what happens next.

Grabe. Binitin pa talaga ng Survivor Philippines kung sino matatanggal sa Tribal Council tonight. Asar. Okay, so, hindi ito ganun ka-serious na topic pero naman. Pamatay. Kasi, ganito 'yun:

Kung si Marlon ang matatanggal, AYOS. Wala nang obnoxious man-boar sa SP, na palaging sinasabi na parte ng game ang pagiging madumi, traydor, at kung ano pa man. Pero di ba, kahit anong klaseng game, mali ang pandaraya. Kaya nga game, kasi dapat fair ka. Mag-strategize ka man, di kailangan manira ng iba. At saka kahit sabihin mong sa game lang ganyan ang ugali, hindi ba repleksyon ng paglaban mo sa tunay na buhay 'yung paraan mo ng paglalaro ng ano pa mang mga bagay na haharapin mo sa tunay na buhay. At saka kahit naman may kamera, eh tunay na buhay pa rin ang SP. Maliban na lang kung may script sila. Eh, si Paolo lang naman ata ang may script dun. Kung matatanggal man sya, malay mo naman mas magkaroon siya ng mas malaking future sa pagpapatawa dahil mukha siyang tanga. Hehehehe. Peace.

Kung si Kiko naman matatanggal, SO SAD pero at least makikita na siya sa TV ng mas madalas. Mas madali ko na rin siyang maha-hunting. Pero mami-miss ko siya sa SP. Kailangan pa bang ipaliwanag kung bakit ko siya gusto manatili sa game? Aiyeeh. Wag na. Basta, keep the faith. See you soon. Ahihihi.

Hindi naman sa sineseryoso ko ang pagsusulat tungkol dito. Gusto ko lang malibang at ilihis ang pag-iisip sa mga bagay na nagpapagaan ng buhay. Ayoko munang isipin ang mga problema. Ito na lang, mas masaya. At saka pasensya na, panatiko eh.

Basta kahit anong mangyari,

KIKO, Mahal pa rin kita.. SOBRA.

Puro-strations

Ang cute ko ngayon.

Mukha akong raccoon. Or even cuter. Mukha na akong panda. Konti na lang, kulang na lang balahibo. Papasa na akong panda.

You don't always get what you want; you don't always want what you get. Kaya siguro tinutubuan ang tao ng unwanted hair. Kailangang bunutan ang kilikili at kailangang i-shave ang bigote. Ibig sabihin, kailangan kumilos para baguhin ang di mo gusto. Kung hindi, magmumukha kang ermitanyo.

Minsan may nabasa akong sulatin na nagsasabing twice beaten ka na sa laban ng buhay kung wala kang self-confidence. Pero hindi kaya mas masama naman kung mayron kang confidence na hindi mo mapanindigan? Ika nga, you talk the walk but you can't walk the talk.

Di ko na alam ang gagawin ko sa buhay ko. Ie-elaborate ko pa ba 'to?

Ganito na lang. Ang dami kong gustong ma-achieve sa yugtong ito ng buhay ko. Kung iisipin, abot-kamay na. Kung sa tyaga lang, marami akong tyaga. Pero tiwala, sa lahat lalo na sa sarili, malapit nang ma-out-of-stock. Kung ikukumpara ito sa pag-akyat ng bundok, siguro ito 'yung parteng nasa paanan ka na ng bundok. Sa tantya mo, mababa lang at kayang i-dayhike ang bundok. Hindi iyon ang unang beses na aakyat ka ng bundok. Equipped ka naman ng kinakailangang skills at tamang gears and equipments para akyatin ang bundok na nasa harapan mo pero mag-isa ka. Nasanay kang may kasama, may tumutulong sa'yo. Marunong ka naman magbasa ng trail signs pero di ka pa rin tiwala sa kung ano'ng meron ka. Dahil mag-isa ka nga, wala kang pagkukunan ng motivation. Wala kang paghihingan ng approval kung tama ang ginagawa mo. Wala kang maaasahang magtama sa mga pagkakamaling magagawa mo. Sisimulan mo ang pagte-trek pero titigil ka makalipas pa lamang ang ilang hakbang. Aatras ng kaunti at itatanong sa sarili kung gusto mo pang ituloy ito. Masukal, magubat ang daang kailangan mong suungin paakyat. Umuulan ng panakanaka. Puputik at dudulas ang daan. Lalo kang magdadalawang-isip kung tutuloy ka pa. May isa pang problema. Hindi mo pa man natatawid ang bundok na kaharap mo pero may mas mataas ka nang bundok na gustong lusungan. Ang kinalabasan: lalo ka lang naguluhan.

Hindi ako sigurado kung maganda at tama 'yung paghahambing na ginawa ko pero pretty much ganyan ang nararamdaman ko. Gusto ko mang maging mas sinsero at matapat sa mga sinasabi ko sa pamamagitan ng pagkwento ng buong kwento. Ayoko dahil kahit sa nararamdaman ko at mga bagay na tumatakbo sa isip ko eh di buo ang tiwala ko. Di buo ang tiwala kong maihahayag ko sila nang maayos, di buo ang tiwala kong maipaiintindi ko sa lahat ng tao kung ang mga saloobin ko sa mundo, hindi buo ang tiwala kong may pagbabagong mangyayari sa pagsalaysay ko nito. Kaya ngayon, ayoko na. Hehehehe.

Sira ang momentum.

Anyway, so, ano na ang dapat kong isipin ngayon?

"Kapalaran mo na ang mamatay sa mga kamay ko. Di mo ba naisip na isinilang para sa dyan, na yan lang ang silbi mo sa buhay? Kawawa ka naman." Nagmo-monologue habang hinhimay ang alimango sa aking plato. Actually di ko pa siya nasisimulan. Galing kasi sya sa seafood kare-kare na uwi nila Mama. Di ako kumakain ng kare-kare dahil ayoko ang amoy at lasa. Pero alimango naman 'to at yun ang paborito kong seafood kahit na mejo nangangati ang labi ko at nagiging kissable lips ako pag kumakain ako non. Paliliguan ko na lang sya mamaya nang bonggang-bonga tapos ay lulunurin sa powdered soup. Haha. Walang sense. Sosyal.

Susubukan kong bumili ng sleeping pills bukas. Baka sakaling makatulong sa pagtulog ko. Hindi na ako uumagahin sa pagpipilit matulog.

Ayos sira na talaga momentum. Di ko na maalala 'yung dapat kong isulat. Na-deplete na ang emotional stimulation na meron ako. Baka gutom na ulit ako. Hehehehe. Next time na lang ulit.

Hopefully tonight, no more sleepless nights. G'nyt.

DLSU-DMS Anniversary Run

De La Salle University - Dasmariñas Mountaineering Society is holding a Fun Run Event with a theme: DLSU-DMS, 11 Years and Still Running in celebration of their 11th Year Anniversary.

The DLSU-DMS Anniversary Run is on November 12, 2008, registration at 10:00AM and run starts at exactly 12:00 Noon. This will be a 6-loop run around the DLSU-D Campus. Registration fee is 11Php.


The De La Salle University-Dasmariñas Mountaineering Society is the only outdoor adventure organization and the longest existing student interest club in DLSU-Dasmarinas.



The goal of the event is to create awareness on the benefits of physical fitness, healthy lifestyle. This event is also a statement that after 11 years, the DLSU-DMS is still running and looking forward to more years of responsible and committed mountaineering.



This event will participated in by members of the Lasallaian community but is also open to participants from outside the campus. Interested individuals may inquire or confirm participation [hopefully within this week] by texting Erick Calilan at 09206045278 or Cenla Ganzon at 09063152181, so that we may provide outsiders/guests gate passes for you to freely enter the DLSU-D Campus.Spread the word, and see you all there.

Crushies

Sorry for the crappy, not-so rhyming rhyme. Just sprang out of nowhere. Can't help but write.


Tell me why

I love your pretty face

But your name is all I know

You are my friends' friends

I wanted to show

That I can be your friend too

If you let a little further go

See, I can be your boo.


Bahaa. So ghetto. Got it? Parang tanga lang. Hahaha Nevermind.

Separation Anxiety

I'm trying to get over that stage of death where you want the ones left behind to mourn for your death. But you are not so much of a loss, so staying or going would not really change so much of anything. You just got to die and stay dead. Accept being forgotten, like they say: out of sight, out of mind. Let the dead bury themselves. You're dead, so bury yourself somewhere and stay there. Rest in peace, Levy-chan, she that lay on a nameless grave. Adieu.

***

I went back to this place from once upon a time. I wanted to see someone, I wanted to do something but it was not fated to happen, or at least not yet. I wanted to see him after these years. I wanted to know how he's doing, I wanted to apologize, I wanted to say goodbye. Nobody cared for like he did before. He did not deserve what I did to him. Well, we parted as friends but far, that we already were, as I was here and he was in his part of the world were we met, I pushed him further away. I forcibly, without him knowing it, took him permanently away from my life. I broke my promise of keeping friendship. I don't expect him to run after me just like he always did way back when [...],  just want to see him, talk to him one last time. It's part of growing up, moving on stage. I want to set things straight. I wanted to make sure that he's happy now. I have no way of knowing that now. I tried my best to see him but I never found what I sought for. Loneliness seem to be my life. I'll try to see you again. I won't stop until I have finished what I have set out for to do. Till then. Wait for me.

***

I was anxious of getting started with what everyone think I should already be doing. I was up all night, stuck in thoughts of what I had to expect. At first, I was sure I wanted to do this. I was actually after the 'perks' of being a working girl. It was, in the beginning a happy trek but the burden gets heavier as you go along the way. My resume said I am willing to work on shifting schedule when actually I'm not. If I be given a choice, I'd cut working hours after lunchtime. I only placed that phrase to make it believable that I wanted the job so much. Well, I did want it but not that bad that I'd let sleepless nights pepper my face with some more pimples. Nah. And to make things worse, I was asked during my interview if I'm willing to work six days, meaning eating up my Saturday. No way, man. I will just try to find a good excuse so I take it back, reject the job offer. I was being stupid telling the HR Manager that I do when actually I don't. And the way she interviewed, or more like interrogated me, as if I was a psychiatric patient. Ugh~ Already done with my interview and my exams. I am under consideration for the job and their evaluating my application. She said she'd call me to let me know what happens. I think it's another call from her before I get the job, and I am not the only one. I hope she does not call me at all. I don't care anymore. I'll find another one. Something I could be comfortable with. No night shifts, no six working days. I would have taken that job offer that my friend recommends from where he's working but I think I'm under qualified. And I'm not really good with pressure. I tend to escape. If there's a will, there's a way and I'll find a way out of this. Don't get me wrong, I'm not being choosy.  just know what I want and I will find something to help me get it.

***

I'll see if I can drop by the University tomorrow and check on the Human Resource Management Office. Hopefully there's a job opening within the campus. I wish I had the choice of not having to leave what has been my home for half a decade. Anywhere as long as it's within her, though there's no way I'm becoming a teacher. Good luck na lang sa akin.

***

I missed so much just because of job hunting. So much time it ate when I should be doing something else. I'm so sorry, I will make it up to everyone once I have dealt with everything. See you all when I see you.

***

Sarap ng Kani Fry sa Teriyaki Boy. Had it earlier after the gruelling nine-hour famine of a job examination and interview. I didn't get to enjoy because nalipasan ako ng gutom. Pero, anyway, sarap talaga. Next time ulit. Party later at Anna's.

Kainan na naman!!!

Videoke time: Himig ng Pag-Ibig by Asin

Went to visit my cousins last Saturday at Lucena. Sugar and I went to the mall and did videoke. Ayos.

I love Noel Cabangon's version of this song. But Yeng Constantino's version? Nevermind.

One of the few songs we did. I had so much fun. I'll be visiting them again, maybe in December. But I promised to take Sugar mountain climbing on March. Can't wait.

Bag or sack [not bagsak]

Applied for a job on Thursday,

Got a call on Friday,

Went for a one-day out-of-town vacation on Saturday,

Prepared my props on Sunday,

Having a job interview on Monday, which is tomorrow.

With fingers crossed, wish me the best of, not just luck but, everything.

It's either a bag or a sack; Either you bag it or get sacked even before you get in.

Alabang, here I come. .v..v.

PS: I applied as Graphic Artist.