Pathetique

Today is one typical OJT day, heavy eyes and I feel sleepy and its so early in the morning; I even came a few minutes late. Almost done with the encoding. man, endless typing sucks. Just finished Death Note episode 29 and I think Bleach ep. 124 will come out later this afternoon. Can't wait till may 19th, Mangaholixx especially not now that a good news just came in through SMS. ! $_$ ! Hehehe.. Unfortunately, I won't be cosplaying yet. I need to prepare and cosplaying preparations usually takes months if you want to come out with something really amazing. I'm planning something simple but show-stopping. I'm not giving out spoilers about my cosplay plan so people'd have to wait. Though I may still change my mind. But if I decide to do (cosplay) that certain character, I guarantee you'd never recognize me. Does that count as a spoiler? Hahaha!

Just when you think you are good at something, someone better just comes out right at your face and makes you look all weak and amateurish. Well, I am an amateur but why do you they have to make me envious? *pouts* Now I really want a pen tablet worse than I wanted it before. Remember the character contest we were suppose to join? We didn't. I had to take one step backward and retreat for a while. They were, like, professional digital artist, and I'm a newbie photomanipulator. You can't do much with just a mouse. You can do vectors and stuff but you can't get into details by just it or atleast I can't. You can't get into drawing fibers of the hair, properly digitally color something by just dragging the mouse here and there and shading, the tiniest details.. blah-blah-blah! Genshiken's even planning a Photoshop seminar and I will be one of the facilitators? What the heck?! I'm not worthy...

I'm afraid, the gang's not pushing through with the Mindoro getaway. Sucks. I really want to go somewhere, anywhere as long as it's away from here. I need a break. Tomorrow, the IS unit is going to Puerto Galera, which means I'll only be on duty tomorrow for half a day. Inggit ako, I wanna go there too. *sigh* Haha. My sibs been there a couple of times and I've never been there, not even once. Poor me. Not even sure I can go to Lucena for the fiesta on the last week of May since I've nowhere to stay 'cause I think my aunt already sold her house, where I used to stay during highschool and every summer. I'm so bored. I want to go to a zoo since it's, literally, been a decade since I last went to one but I can't 'cause the nearest zoo in my place is.. I don't know. That's the problem, I don't know where it is. I'm so pathetic. Haaayy.. Surfing the net is getting quite old if it just wasn't for Bleach and Death Note.

Something's calling me to write again. Yes, that novel I started when I was in 2nd year highschool is calling me to continue it and eventually finish. It's raining ideas, the juices are flowing out but I can't get myself to grab a pen and go on writing. I'm too lazy right now. I plan to finish it this year or anytime before I graduate but right now I'm just not feeling it. I prefer imagining how my novel goes but not actually putting it on paper. I can write it down on the same notebook where I started it but I would have to type it when I finish it but I'm so not into typing very long stuff except for my blog. But if I would type it write away, I would have hard time checking it since I check what I write (compose) every now and then to check for errors and I since it's a novel it would be something very long and I don't like reading longs stuffs on the pc. I prefer to read comfortable and infront of the computer isn't always comfortable like right now on my workstation and most of the time, it's hard to stay put, sit properly 'cause I can't lean the whole of my back on the chair and my legs get tired too so I sit like an Indian on the manager's chair (yeah, the rotating one, used in offices), I also like leaning my arms on something, and the pc's too near at my face.. Blah-blah-blah.. Those stuff.. It's just annoying.

Oh yeah, my drawing too. I wan to draw/sketch/paint something again but I just feel so uninspired though the reiatsu around me is pretty overwhelming. Oh, well... 

Now, I'm hungry. Everyone's left for lunch and I'm still here waiting since my friends (Genshiken) won't be out till 12pm. I can hear my stomach rumble. Haayy..

What of my BCS friends? Dunno. Haven't heard news since we last saw each other, I usually catch some of them online in my YM but we don't talk since there isn't much to talk about. Do I miss them? I'm not sure. It's like they exist but they're too far that I can't feel their presence. I used to miss them knowing they're just there but now.. Hmm.. Well, I'm not really sad since my other friends are filling in the space they left or if I should rephrase it, it would be like, I made more space for other friends so I don't have to feel alone and nobody would feel used by me just because I'm lonely. I love my friends and I can still make room for some more since I'm a friendly, loving person. Hahaha!

I'm finally buying that cosplay item we saw at the mall and the stickers and posters I have the anime shop reserve for me. Weeeeh! I have to go now,  Still have a few chapters of the manga to catch on and, well.. I'm hungry. Hehehe..

Ja mata ne!!!