Heart Summer Heat

I finally forced myself to write again.

It finally rained. It's the first rain this month, or at least the only one I remember (other than that one when I was up North a few weeks ago. I miss walking in the rain. I didn't get to this time but hearing the rain fall outside makes me feel a lot better. It's freakishly hot these days and the heat gets into your head. My fan broke this morning, I woke up bathe in sweat. Fuck Global Warming. Sometimes, I have to put ice on my water when I take a bath. It was a relief when my cousin treated us to 2 tubs of ice cream [brownie fudge a la mode and 3-in-1 plus 1] today. There's still some left and I will scoop me a cup before I continue typing this post.

So I'm done scraping one of the tubs, back to thinking what to write next.

Read my Friendster Horoscope earlier, it told me not to let money affect my mood. Unfortunately, money is affecting my mood today. So many places I want to go to but I can't 'cause I'm broke. One of which is Caramoan Islands. Yep, that packaged trip on May 3rd that my friend is taking. He offered me and a few other friends slots but I can't confirm yet because I'm not sure how or if I'll ever be able to score myself 3000 bucks to join that trip. So, I can ask my dad again but he already gave me 3k for my last climb and Baguio trip two weeks ago and he keeps bugging me about getting a job. Not that I am not trying but it can't seem to find me. Seems to me nobody wants an inexperienced, not-so newly-grad for an employee. Well, I'm  trying to get my mind off it lest I kill myself. You know how it is when people get desperately hopeless. But I am trying to keep myself believing "the greater plan". I hope there really is one or I'd die a bum. Hahahaha.

Porter incident. I have no business redeeming myself. I've seen and heard how people reacted and if people thought low of me because of that, that's their problem. The hell I care. I needed help, I was offered help, I took it. I admit I wasn't that prepared. Make fun of me, and what does that make you? XP That's it. I'm just thankful to all those who helped me. It's over and done with. We all enjoyed the experience despite the set backs. Move on. Peace out, people.

So many plans this year. The excitement for everything clouds up the frustration and disappointment.

I've been looking through old photographs. Reminds me of this thing I watch on tv a few nights ago. Said something like things happen only once so we can remember it. Now, I remember. It's from Ultraman Max. One of the best episode from any Ultraman series that I've ever seen. Nothing violent. There was the usual enemy and Ultraman had to battle it by sending it back. Gurarufan, and ancient being that has power over memories. Basta, if I get the chance to see that again, I'd watch the whole episode. It was set in winter and it was sentimental. I love it. Wala. I just miss the old days, and it had me looking back at the younger years and how simpler it is back then to be happy alone or with friends and had me looking forward to the coming times with the people I am with now and the coming years I have with them to spend.

***

It may just be my imagination but I want to believe it. It feels like as hot as Summer is on the skin is, it is just as warm in one's heart. I love the rain but I'll have these Summer days anytime if it always feel this good.

I was captured by that stare
Now I'm shattered but I don't care
And the people walking by don't have a clue

How it began, I can still remember. Actually, I'll never forget. He came to the booth, I was on watch. He asked, "Madami na po bang sumali, Ma'am?" I told him, "Kahapon madami, ngayon konti pa lang." I think he was wearing a smile then, he registered, I gave him an application form, he left. Well, I read his name from the registration form, that's how I learned his name. I never forgotten him since. I've been seeing, thinking and feeling things. I wanted to believe them true and right but then again, baka nagfe-feeling lang na naman ako. I had my chance to know him a little about him, I wish to know him more. Hirap. He's still in school and I am not. I'd only see him during [...] Ouch. I won't get to stalk him like I do my other crushes. *cue music: Crush by David Archuleta* Ouch. And Netamashii mode na naman ako with this certain someone. They seem uncomfortably close *sigh* I really like him though he's a few years younger. Have no idea if he'll ever like me too but [...] I can't put in exact words how I'm feeling pero I just really, really, really [really : infinity] like him.

'Yan sya. May kamukha sya jan na iba na baka kilala mo/n'yo rin pero hindi yun yon. Sya yan. Sino sya? Si... Ay-ay-ay.. Secret. Hahahaha titigan mong mabuti baka makilala mo.

***

So much more to write. Hehehehe bukas or mamaya ulit. Can't really put my mind into it. Am thinking of a lot of things at the same time again. Just like the good old days. Hahahaha.

Hello, world!