It's past midnight and I should be sleeping but I just felt the urge to write these very important things lest I forget. It's been a week now but I'm still coughing and my nose is still runny. Enduring this suffering is quite hard esp. when you have to sing infront of people you go to the same school with. I'm still up with colds and my friends say I'm "ngongo". I was all in dilemma last night whether I am to join the group in tonight's performance because of my condition and joining forces with my inferiority ghost to haunt and unleash my weakness. I knew I had to unlearn the fear of the crowd, i so want to please when I sing but I just can't. Inner demons are tempting me to give up the dream. I wanted to give in but something in me told me I wanted to go on and fight. It's seems like I'm fearing the same thing in its different forms for the frst time, everytime. It's strange how humans unconsciously learn to fear a lot of things when they were born with only two fears: loud sounds and falling. I wasn't that nervous but my voice seem to tell otherwise. Hmp!
It was nice and good to hear that someone actually appreciated me in my "ngongo" singing. Prayers are indeed powerful. I prayed my heart out last night that I may cough my last cough last night that I may sing the next day. I woke up feeling good because my hopes never failed. The cough was still there and so is the colds but I could now sing. I haven't sang 'cause I can't sing the other days and night before last night because of the dreadful cough. I'm used to the shame anyway, I thought. But with people who believed in me are right beside me when I need them, I know I am doing the right thing. Thank you to you all, if they can only read this and know that it's them I'm talking about...
I have done impromptu speaking like a million times in my English classes but Impromptu Singing... Whoa! That's new! Haha! It was my first time doing that for a musical group that does World/ Ethnic/ Experimental (and the likes of it) music, their name is Sound Existence. I was told right then and there if I could sing for them whatever and they've been wanting me to sing for tham for a long time now. That was awesome, my heart leapt with heavenly gladness. I thought we're having a jamming one of these days and I was surprised when they told me they'll or we'll be playing minutes from then. I went in and hum and made strange melodies while they were playing and the whole thing was relieving. It was weird doing it for the first time but I had a lot of fun. I knew I was giving the audience a dose of my ngongo singing. Haha! Then when everyone in our group (Ewige Sorge) is going home, Vince told me his brother, part of the group Lakbay Lahi who also does the same music as Sound Existence, wants me to join them and I was like... WOW!
To be continued in my next post 'cause I don't want to exceed the limit and put all my typing efforts to waste like in some of my past post. So read on!
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