Luster and light

We have long known that this country has been in turmoil forever due to crime and corruption but to be affected, though indirectly, is too much. Policemen should be out chasing criminals and not a helpless 19-year-old boy. I my cousin, like my youngest brother, is maangas and quite quarrelsome because he was raised in that kind of environment, we are born at the same place in the city where 'yabang and kaastigan' is a common factor and where when some people are intimidated of your presence or jealous of your goodlooks, esp. when they don't have such, wouldn't have second thoughts calling for backups and beat you to death and gang wars are a usual scene. What place am I talking about? Sampaloc, Manila. My family lived there for 6 years and I was 7 when we left for Cavite and, I think, it's just 5 years ago when my cousin went here too to live. He's the usual Manila boy who loves bulakbol but imagine him being beaten by 8 policemen. I heard they are from Quezon City but they probably came from hell so to hell with them, I hope they go back there! Have you any idea how my cousin looks like? He's quite thin, 2 inches taller than I am, not so much cheeks and compared to my chubby, bony face, his is small. I wonder how he looks like now after the beating of a lifetime from those demons wearing blue. What I know is, it was supposed to be a fight between young kids or a group of young kids but with the intervention of demonic entities... Fuck! My youngest brother's been in the same scene last month but it wasn't that grave though he had some bruises and cuts, his friends was slightly slashed on the neck. He's good in boxing people esp those who do him harm but there were meddlesome fool known as adults who had, I think, a knife and ran after them. Would you look at that, a disgusting truth about misuse and abuse of power. I suddenly remembered what Ms. Ranido taught us in our Christian Living, something about... Man I forgot the exact word but it's about the equality or balance of an individual's masculinity and femininity. Of course, we all have both and we're probably aware or just in denial. I already know this things but, not that I'm saying I'm almost perfect of know a lot better than these people, THEY should be taught with these, fed with it, intoxicated with it. Dang! Religious Education is boring but is, to the highest level, very important. Things that are happening would not be happening if we can all be educated but sadly because of poverty and a lot more factors that follow it on the least, only a few is lucky to be share the lustre that education gives. Sigh!





By the way, exams are up tomorrow and I haven't reviewed yet. Maybe tomorrow morning when I wake up. I just stayed up this late of the night, exactly: 2350 in the evening of October 9, to make this post. Pfft!





The prisoner of eternity's back in jail! Tonight and the other night Annie Lennox's Love Song for a Vampire keeps playing in my head. Bram Stoker's Dracula by Francis Ford Coppola is a lot different from the book Bram Stoker's Dracula Abridged which I've read months ago but both got me; I can't forget how tenderly Vlad embraced Mina while baptizing her with his blood, how he stared at Mina while she described his home in Romania and how he cried when Mina was talking about the princess... everything felt so real. There were a lot of sex and nudity in the film and even violence but LOVE prevailed. Here I go again with my insanity! But that kind of love, timeless and endless, is the what my soul craves for. I don't know how to describe it but the very word ETERNITY gives meaning to my life. I'll try to find something psychological about this kind of feeling one of this days when I'm free from all the paperworks and exams. Man, I don't understand why loneliness makes me happy. Perhaps, my Gothic persona has awaken again. She can wake up and sleep anytime but it feels good to be actually back to me "normal" self.

Oh, Loneliness! Oh, Hopelessness to search the ends of time...
For there is in all the world, no greater love than mine...