There's no way to stop what comes falling.
It maybe so, like how I could see myself falling, how I feel my soul falling apart and how I could hear the rain falling inside my heart.. But can't they really be stopped?
I could see myself falling... It's nothing new. I'm trying my best to get as close as I can get to him. [If you think I'm talking about you, maybe you're right so please tell me what you think.]. I've only known him for a few months but I'm sure, I know and I believe that I really, really like him [though I still like Shiawase too]. I have this friend who likes him too and I'm starting to get jealous. I can see what she's been doing to draw him near and I'm afraid I will have to hate her if they end up together [She tries to look cute, friendly and innocent, and when the guy's into him she'll play it safe. I think that's how she does it and I find it dirty. Grrr!]. I'm falling, but I can't really say that I've fallen. I wanted to tell him [and I don't have anything against girls, like myself, being the first one to confess] but I'm scared. I can't read through him and I don't want to assume things unless he tells me the things I need to hear, be it good or bad. Rejection comes fast and easy but it leaves scars in the heart and stays there for a lifetime; No matter how friendship covers up the slightest traces, the hurt will still get you once in a while. I should know, I've been on that road before and it took me a while before I can free myself, take off and fly again.
I feel my soul falling apart... Graduation Day has been getting into my head too much. I've been emotionally strained about this since classes started. I've stayed in college for more than I should have. If I don't make it to the March 2008 Graduation and have to stay in college for the same course because I failed [I don't really mind staying longer if I'll be there for another course or maybe taking my Major] I may have to force my family to send me into a mental institution. Most people think it's just a matter of not working hard enough or not taking studies seriously, they think the expression "nosebleed" is just a funny expression, and do not understand how it feels to exceed your limit and almost die from stroke from it [F*** Programming! F***, Physics and the Mathematics that goes with it! F*** those teachers that always say, "You are expected to be /should be good at this and that because you're already on your 4th year or because they are good at it too]. Right now, I feel like standing at the edge of cliff with a bottomless pit below it [just like when Light felt like he's losing to L, imagines himself jumping off from a high platform to his death but stops in midair]. Right. That's it, I've already fallen off the edge and now I'm stuck in midair. I'm being sucked down the nothingness of the bottomless pit but something kept me floating. A part of me wants to stay fighting to keep myself together while the other just wants to give it up. My spirit particles are disintegrating, hehehe...
I could hear the rain falling inside my heart... Loneliness, sadness, uncertainty, doubts, jealousy, loathe. They're raining inside of me. I wanted to love but I keep fighting against the very thing that my heart cries out for. I don't understand myself right now.
By the way, I'm watching this cute anime right now, Honey and Clover. It's too kawaii, it's lovesickening! Awww.. *Clenches fist close to cheeks and goes googley-eyed*
Yay, the panel interview's tomorrow! I can't be late. I want this so bad, [why? refer to.. Blah!]! You have no idea. I'll pray hard so I can make it and do my best to be honest, sincere, and be whatever to convince those panelists that they should have me. But if I don't, I wouldn't feel so bad because I've made my resolve: If I get in, I will never fail to do what I'm supposed to do, if I don't I will never stop. i will join every contest I can join [like I always do] and keep doing what I love and doing what I do best. I can feel a good year coming ahead of me, it's the start of something new and it feels so right [so Highschool Musical, hehe]. And, oh, Love... Ah! It's in the air, can't you smell it? *sniff sniff*
GAMBARE MASU!
It maybe so, like how I could see myself falling, how I feel my soul falling apart and how I could hear the rain falling inside my heart.. But can't they really be stopped?
I could see myself falling... It's nothing new. I'm trying my best to get as close as I can get to him. [If you think I'm talking about you, maybe you're right so please tell me what you think.]. I've only known him for a few months but I'm sure, I know and I believe that I really, really like him [though I still like Shiawase too]. I have this friend who likes him too and I'm starting to get jealous. I can see what she's been doing to draw him near and I'm afraid I will have to hate her if they end up together [She tries to look cute, friendly and innocent, and when the guy's into him she'll play it safe. I think that's how she does it and I find it dirty. Grrr!]. I'm falling, but I can't really say that I've fallen. I wanted to tell him [and I don't have anything against girls, like myself, being the first one to confess] but I'm scared. I can't read through him and I don't want to assume things unless he tells me the things I need to hear, be it good or bad. Rejection comes fast and easy but it leaves scars in the heart and stays there for a lifetime; No matter how friendship covers up the slightest traces, the hurt will still get you once in a while. I should know, I've been on that road before and it took me a while before I can free myself, take off and fly again.
I feel my soul falling apart... Graduation Day has been getting into my head too much. I've been emotionally strained about this since classes started. I've stayed in college for more than I should have. If I don't make it to the March 2008 Graduation and have to stay in college for the same course because I failed [I don't really mind staying longer if I'll be there for another course or maybe taking my Major] I may have to force my family to send me into a mental institution. Most people think it's just a matter of not working hard enough or not taking studies seriously, they think the expression "nosebleed" is just a funny expression, and do not understand how it feels to exceed your limit and almost die from stroke from it [F*** Programming! F***, Physics and the Mathematics that goes with it! F*** those teachers that always say, "You are expected to be /should be good at this and that because you're already on your 4th year or because they are good at it too]. Right now, I feel like standing at the edge of cliff with a bottomless pit below it [just like when Light felt like he's losing to L, imagines himself jumping off from a high platform to his death but stops in midair]. Right. That's it, I've already fallen off the edge and now I'm stuck in midair. I'm being sucked down the nothingness of the bottomless pit but something kept me floating. A part of me wants to stay fighting to keep myself together while the other just wants to give it up. My spirit particles are disintegrating, hehehe...
I could hear the rain falling inside my heart... Loneliness, sadness, uncertainty, doubts, jealousy, loathe. They're raining inside of me. I wanted to love but I keep fighting against the very thing that my heart cries out for. I don't understand myself right now.
By the way, I'm watching this cute anime right now, Honey and Clover. It's too kawaii, it's lovesickening! Awww.. *Clenches fist close to cheeks and goes googley-eyed*
Yay, the panel interview's tomorrow! I can't be late. I want this so bad, [why? refer to.. Blah!]! You have no idea. I'll pray hard so I can make it and do my best to be honest, sincere, and be whatever to convince those panelists that they should have me. But if I don't, I wouldn't feel so bad because I've made my resolve: If I get in, I will never fail to do what I'm supposed to do, if I don't I will never stop. i will join every contest I can join [like I always do] and keep doing what I love and doing what I do best. I can feel a good year coming ahead of me, it's the start of something new and it feels so right [so Highschool Musical, hehe]. And, oh, Love... Ah! It's in the air, can't you smell it? *sniff sniff*
GAMBARE MASU!
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