Tuesday night has been so cruel. Storm outside, tears flow, and emotions stirring all over the place. That night was more hellish than the hell week we call exam week.
Wednesday made me sore. Tireless walking along the corridors of SM Mall of Asia. The trip was of short notice and I wasn't prepared. My limbs still hurt till now. Felt like I worked out five hours straight. Ouch! Despite the "hurt", I still enjoyed yesterday. I literally froze the whole day. I wake up in the freezing cold of dawn, then Patrick's car airconditioning, then MoA's skating rink, then the aircon again. Heck! The temperature was really sleep-conducing, and I slept during the travel then laugh along when I'm awake while the guys played with Veronica and play "gay" with each other.
Before that I went to watch ES jam. They were supposed to play for the COS GA but they had no practice. It was fun but there was some annoying emo boy who would open the door of the studio to peep and there was this guy who went in to seat. I don't know why. And before that, I had yet again one of the greatest insults I will ever receive from stupid, pathetic creatures who are lesser humans than I am. It's arrogant and immodest to say but I mean it and that serves them well. I'm not saying their name, but furious as I am today, I give myself the honor of vituperating them without them knowing it. Backstab, baby! Tried and I'm tired. I hope they get to read this. Wahaha!
No matter how happy doing the things you love can be, sometimes you can never help but feel so uninvited. What used to be my stage is not mine anymore. My last bow... Bow-wow-wow! Bwahaha! Who cares?! I can set another stage for myself. Beat that.
Thursday can never be more cruel. Reluctance, desperation, frustration and desperation. I failed myself again. I dreamt too much, miscalculated, missed my aim and worst... Expected to much from other people. I had it already, and this time it's really over. It's either I do it alone or I don't do it. I'm not mad though, just a bit upset but other than that I'm doing great. So good to have sweet distractions to make me forget for a while. Sometimes I wonder how it would feel to be lost inside your head, seeing only beautiful things, not having to experience the harshness of the world outside. I have enough strength to keep my peace and sanity but what if I don't. Maybe, I'd be happier. *smiles faintly*
I'm currently reading the love story I've fallen inlove with a thousand times. My heart is simply overwhelmed. Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy but it gives me all hopes with love. You definitely won't understand. Anyway, I thought I have outgrown my love for Amy Lee and Evanescence but I'm living that love again. Wala lang.
The winds of change is singing to me. Shall I hear more of it or shall I answer. Can I be bold enough. I'll think about it.
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