Changing Route

I'm taking on a new challenge.

It's really something I used to do but haven't for a while. Not sure if I can make it on top but I think I already have the push I need to start moving. About the outcome... I guess we'll find out when judgement day comes. 

I am literally changing route. I don't think I'll be seeing or letting some people see me and hear from me for a while. They are annoyingly serious and, well, it's annoying me. I mean, they don't mind it when they're the ones doing the "annoyance" or when the "beautiful people" are doing it to them or doing it with them but if it's the just-cute-person, they treat you like thrash. Have it your way then. And you're wondering why I hardly choose being with you over being with my other friends? You tell me. I thought I've gotten over this feeling about you but I guess I never had, and never will. Goodbye for now.

Is it just me or people never learned to understand? They try to impale you with their righteousness, they try to change you with their own sense of maturity, making themselves believe that they're right and you have to listen to them without having to listen to you. My feelings has got a lot to do with my actions, everything actually. Hurt me and I bite back, use me and lie to me, and I will never talk to you again, be a good friend to me and you have my loyalty, I will take care of you and protect you with my life, those kind of things. How I treat people depends on how they treat me. I act civilly to my enemies, my anger may subside but it never dies out, betraying my friendship is the same as killing it, and when it's dead, you're forever marked and nothing can make my resentment over you change. That's just how it is. Stop. Don't. Never try to change it 'cause unless I let you, you can never change it. I just might hate you too. Don't make me because when I do, I don't regret it. I have no remorse over hating people. I only hate people when I think they deserve being hated. I don't always state my reasons but everything is not without reason. I've explained all you need to know but it's useless because you never liked reading and you will never get to read this blog and I will never hear these things directly from me. You know I'm not confrontational. You know I'm a little bit introverted. You know I keep most of everything to myself even if it kills me. Your loss.

Finally, I'm giving in to my wanderlust. Been wanting to go to different places forever but never liked travelling. I love feasting my eyes on the wonders of natures, indulging them on frail beauties but only in pictures since I've never gotten over the fear of getting lost. That's why I never travel far distances alone. I was never trained to go further than neighboring towns within the province. Well, anyway, when all of this is over, I want to go as far from home as possible with my dearest friends, of course--I can't go alone, hehehe. I just have to survive the exams this week till next week then a few more weeks, and I'll be back outdoors. Nature is my playground, and I'm actually feeling homesick. I want to smell the grasslands and forest and the earth that holds it again. I dunno, it just livens me up when I smell the aroma of open air, it feels like being back out door, out there, far, far from here. Must be what they call "passion", hehehe. I want to go hiking again but ironically, I'm not that excited as I am in the past climbs. I can't even walk livelily. My leg muscles have been aching since I had fever last week, and having postponed the supposed Induction climb kind of delayed, held off the thrill. Unlike before, I don't mind it being put off for an indefinite time. Things are going too fast though I did think it was going too slow before the day came and I'm getting opposing vibes. Not sure from whom, but I trust how I feel, so yeah, something's wrong. But, no matter what, that Puerto Galera trip has got to push through. It will be my first time there, and, I may be scared of dark shallow water and jellyfishes, I love the beach. I love the waters. And I am starting to love the sun. I don't really mind getting sun tanned and who cares about skin cancer? Hahaha.

I went with friends last weekend to party. Hehehe. It was a joint birthday celebration of Carlo, Jet and Andrew. It was fun because it's been a while since I've seen those guys, and they're still the funny creatures that they are when I've last seen him. Got almost drunk with a few shots of Absolut vodka, and a few shots of Muito, not sure what they had in there but it was good. Hahaha. Also had a pleasant sleep, eyes heavy with alcohol-induced sleepiness. There were only 10 or 12 of us. Sayang, it would been more fun if everybody's there but, hey, it's okay. They have work, they have to earn their living, and we're going to Puerto Galera anyway and the others are having their birthday bash this year. Hahahaha. See you all in a few months.

Yeah, I got this cute homemade voodoo doll from a friend today. It's so cute 'cause it looked like me. Hahaha. Love it! I think I'll bleach my hair again so me and my voodoo-chan will stay alike. Thank you very much, Kulas! Thank you very much!

Before I leave, I just wanna share this something-something that I got from somewhere this morning. It is a forecast and I think it is a GO signal to go set out for what I'm planning to get and grab it.

Your path of self-development and expression becomes more and more unusual,
Setting you apart from the crowd and from all that is traditional.