This is ILLOGICAL

I am Mayuri Kurotsuchi. I am Szayelapollo Grantz. I am Inui Sadaharu. To analyze is my pleasure - and for that, I care not if you were turned to ash. Bwahaha! Ashi ne? I was just talking to my friend about some personal stuffs [that you aren't going to know unless you ask me personally,  kokoro no ichijou] and I told him that I am currently studying some "specimens" and gathering data and... Ahaha. Never mind. I just felt like saying those thing. well, I don't really have anything that much to write. So...

Aww.. My friend's got a girlfriend, just last Friday. Aww.. Sweetness! He told me just now. It just happened out of the blue. They both felt the same way for each other, they admitted and then.. Now they're together. What the... I envy them. I wish the same thing could happen to me. A friend's been telling me to make the first move since it doesn't really matter who says it first. The point is that you say it but I'm scared. I'm not a person who can talk about my feelings freely. And I'm not so touchy though I stealthily take my chances. Hehehe. My gut's been telling me things but my head tells me otherwise. [The last time I tried, some two or three years ago, I was late. He said he felt it too before but I was too late. He's already with someone else] It's hurts to be rejected but it hurts more not being able to say it. And I've been thinking of the consequences. He may feel the same way or not. If he does, we will end up together but if not, what could possibly happen? I can still be friends with him and pretend like nothing happened but chances are he likes someone else and he will start avoiding me and I'll be sadder than I am now. Aww.. Kanashii! I wish he knew but he has no idea. I wanted to touch him, hig him, kiss him. But I can't be to careless or I'll be too obvious.

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain
[[broken.seether]]

You may be getting tired of me talking about my love and the stuffs that goes with it but it's better than having to read my I-hate-the-world posts. Hehe.

Fact: Shiawase is NOT my only happiness now.  Meow.

My cousin came today. I invited her for my birthday and she came two days late. That idiot, hahaha! She thought the party will be next week but, well, it was last week. I've been planning to introduce her to my friend who likes her since New Year but it's seems like they aren't destined to meet. Haha. They were chatmates, they were textmates but they have never met. How.. Nice. Hehehe. She left with my brother to watch Transformers. I wanted to come and she was going to pay for my movie ticket but I don't feel like leaving the house today and I haven't taken a bath yet. I just told her to bring me something when she gets home.

I'm calmer now than when I was writing my last post, though my heart still feels like it's going to tear when I think of what I've been thinking. Anyway, I've been reading some astrology stuffs since the other night and I just came across something about my star sign that says I'm crabby.  Wala lang. Crabbiness [Grouchy; ill-tempered.] can be cute sometimes, and it does sound cute. Hehe. That's why I love these stuff. They tell you things you already know, things you do not yet know, and things that you want to hear, be it good or bad. Ah-just-simply-lavet!

Man, I'm broke but chances are presenting themselves to me again. I think i'm joining CSPC's logo-making contest. Hahaha. It's my last year anyway, I have to take every opportunity that comes my way. $__$ La-la-la.. Ahoho!

Yay, we're watching Harry Potter on Wednesday and invading Pau-pau's [the nick, c'mon!] crib on Friday. My, my.. I'm so busy. Nyahahah!

I'll be harvesting the dragon fruit soon. I'll bring one to school so the others can experience it too. If you haven't seen a dragon fruit before, well, it's heart-shaped, it's red outside, white and full of tiny, crunchy seeds inside. It's delicious and I love it. Can't wait.

I need a makeover. Badly. If you have only seen me two to three years ago, you would have wished I stayed that way. The way I dressed and carry myself is way different back then. The clothes I wear, eyeliners, accessories. I was a rock star. Ahaha. Look at me now. I need a new look, I'm getting sick of my current look but... I don't like shopping for clothes like my brothers 'cause I'd rather buy food with the money, and I don't like fixing my self and getting dolled up because it takes so much time. What on earth am I suppose to do? Blah! Heh!

*sob*sigh* I want a new phone [iPhone, K800 or N93 will do], I want a violin, I want a piano,  I want to cosplay but I need money. Huwaaaaah!

Can I sing to you? Can I sing for you? Can you be the song I sing?