Wasak na Wasak

Let's look back on the last week of classes for academic year 2007 - 2008.

For most part of the week, I was just hanging around doing nothing [[because I am over the acceptance stage where I have admitted to myself that I won't be marching this March, there's nothing in this batch for me, THEY are just my classmates and can never be my friends, and we all have to move on after this. I have failed again and have to try again. After this, who knows what happens next? Brooding on the fucking stupid series of events is what I've been doing for the past few weeks or even months, I grew tired of it, and it's not doing me any good, as a matter of fact, it's not doing me really anything. Period.

Anyway, moving on...

       10th March 08

Been yielding to that self-induced pining since that day. Honesty is such a sin and intoxication is always a very good excuse. Quits lang. Yes, I mean it.

We just made tambay at the office today and went food tripping with friends before we went home. Hahaha. Ayos.

11th March 08

Saw Globe Telecom booths everywhere. They're giving out our La Salle SIMs today. Haha. I have my registration form with me today so I claimed mine right away. Weee, there was P20 free load. Nyahaha. Had a list of dates and activities for this week. Have finished most of what I need to do and still waiting for some more instructions. Surfed through the university's portal and saw the activity scheduled for Friday, SenioRock Mania. I have attended a few before this one so it was nothing new but there was something about it that excited, or perhaps the right word would be, psyched me: Radioactive Sago Project. I will meet my Lourd again. Ahahaha. Now, I have something good, other than my first major climb, to look forward to. I can't wait.

I can still feel that dull and steady pain in that muscle that pumps blood to my whole circulatory system. That sinking feeling, caused by my hypothalamus, has rendered me sleepless for a few night now. A feeling that, I thought, has long been put to sleep is now awakening and opening my eyes again. Tama ba: Isang damdaming inakala kong matagal nang nahimlay ay muli na namang gumigising at minulat ang aking mga mata? Pasensya na, baduy lang. Confounded, I could not pacify that silent shattering echoes from somewhere deep inside me. I inflicted the pain on myself and it's just right that I should be the one to take it away from myself, kill it or if not hide it somewhere on the back of our heads. Just like those bad memories, negative thoughts, bad experiences, we temporarily forget about them but they're being hidden somewhere within our brain, in gray matter, lurking in our subconscious and is brought back to us through our dreams... or something like that? Hehehe. Nevermind. I was trying to recall my General Psychology but can barely remember. I just wanted to make lovesickness sound weird. Hahaha. Anyway, that was it. I am still feeling weird due to some things of my own doing. Not that I feel bad, I was just confused. Ugh, nevermind.

12th March 08

Am getting more paranoid. I felt invisible and it was as if I am being judge for what I did. I have to give it to them that nobody spoke of it but hardly anybody spoke to me either. Now, it wasn't just a wall that's been keeping me away, it's like I am already inexistent. Feeling out place is one thing, but invisibility is another story. Oh, well...

Went with Chopsuey friends to claim their SIMs and then went to the pre-climb meeting. Before we got to the place, we, literally, stopped at every food stand we passed by, bought food and ate them. Malawakang foodtrip. It was only when we got there that one of us realized that her phone was missing together with her registration form, exam permit and new SIM card. It took some time before she came with the idea of where she lost them. So we had our meeting, there were slight changes due to some unexpected turnout of events. It's unbelievable how things change and how it changes us all. Anyway, so yeah, we have to regroup and talk of the changes, finalize plans, and went our own ways.

Two more nights and I will meet my Lourd again. Waaaaahh~

13th March 08

Still obsessing. But I finally came up with a solution that will permanently anaesthetize me from the sickness I've been suffering from for days. I know what is causing it, I know now what I fear and I know now how to stop it. This is not going to be for long. This will end soon. I know.

Saw this sci-fi anime with friends. May love story na naman. Fotcha. Salamat sa anime! Lalo akong na-lovesick. Tae.

Isang tulog na lang, then the big day. Woooh.

Okay mahaba na ang post na to. Sa next post naman yung continuation. Hahaha. Nyt!