Kapalaran

MAKAKASAMA NA AKO BUKAS! Woohooo!

Malalim na Kababawan

I feel so desperate and frustrated! If the message I'm waiting for doesn't come tomorrow, there'll be no Ozine Fest for me. Sunday will be gloomy. Gloomy sunday. Aww.. O, Hindeeeee! There's still Mangaholix on May but.. Nooo! I want to join Ozine! The loot bag.. The karaoke contest.. The sushi? The ramen? Hehe.. Anyway, I really want to go to Ozine Fest. This is so sad. *sob*

 

Chances are..

I may not be able to join the Genshis at Ozine Fest. Ang saklap. This is so frustrating. I'm so excited pa naman. Sana lang before Sunday... Sana lang... Nakakalungkot naman... Ahhaaayy... The guys went to MoA this afternoon, I wanted to come with them but... Ahuhuuu.. I wanted to hangout with my Genshifriends but... Awww.. Same reason.. Bakit naman kasi..  *sigh*

My friends give the best advices, "Sulutin mo. Jan tayo magaling". Ayos na ayos. And they have their point. Trademark ba ng tropa yun? Ahoho.. Di naman. Nagkakataon lang. Just thinking of such idea, malalaglag na ang puso ko. Mission: Impossible, Improbable, but Imaginable; I cube. Haha. I'm talking to my friend/ former classmate JV right now and.. Gusto ring manulot. Ahoho. Talaga nga naman; Birds of the same feather are the same birds. Aww.. Haha.

I feel better now. 'Di ako masyadong nasermonan for my failing grades. Isang alon lang, tapos na. Buti naman. 'Kala ko maririndi na naman ako eh. Konti na lang masisiraan na 'ko ng bait 'noh. Salamat naman... 

Alright. This is really it. My friends are officially Alumnis. Kawawa na naman ako. I've been with them for four years and this will feel like having to start over again. I will have to get used to not having them around. Well, we're not always together  because they have their lives and we have different schedules but I know they're just there but now they've graduated.. Aww.. Right now, I'm lost. Mag-iisa na naman ako. Aww.. Anjan pa si Jerome.. si Renan.. si Kat.. si Amor.. si Ghi.. si Iam.. si JV.. si Alvin.. saka 'yung iba pang hindi ko nabanggit.. Pero iba pa rin ung kumpleto. I have new friends.. Anjan ang "Super ITs" [<-- Bwahaha!]... Anjan ang Genshiken.. Anjan ang mga kapatid sa musika at sining[Oh yeah, feeling close naman ako! Woooh!].. Anjan si Shiawase [Ouch. Anjan nga ba? Sabihin mo lang na anjan ka para sa 'kin, 'di na ko malulungkot. Oh yeah! Kaya lang 'di mo alam. Akin ka nalang, pwede ka bang agawin sa kanya? Please. Hehe].. Pero iba yung mga dati mo nang kasama. Nakakalungkot naman. Magkikita pa tayo sa daan pero mami-miss ko pa rin kayo. *big hug*

Sabi nila in-love na daw ako, sabi ko naman, "Hindi pa pero konti na lang". Hahaha.

SUGOI!

Parating na...

Ang kukulit ng mga nag-comment sa SUVASA photos ng Nyabinghi. Haha.. Napapangiti tuloy ako kahit mag-isa..  LOVE YOU, Mga kuya! Hehe..

Yehey! Ilang tulog na lang till April 1, Ozine Fest na! Can't wait to get my hands on the freebies for early birds. I'm going with my Genshi-friends. I'm joining that Karaoke Contest.. Yeehah! Sabi nga ni Yamkumi, "Fight on, GO!". Ahoho!

I'm currently working on an international project. Wow, International... Sosyal! Hehe.. It's actually an Anime-Manga Character Design Contest by Wacom. It's actually a collaboration between me and my Genshiken friends, Bernard and Daniel. The first of the three entries we're planning to submit is on the works, I'm working on it. My Photoshop skills are being tested. I'm using CS2 but, yeah, I don't really know how it differs from the older versions and CS3 is already out but I won't be using it anytime soon. I don't have a copy yet and CS3 will have to wait until I get to have a pc of my own. Haay, saklap.

I'm going to school tomorow to get my ticket-to-hell/ grade report and my prize. Oh, sweet! Despite all the chaos running in my head, there's always a reason to keep sane. Yeah, and I'm starting my OJT on Monday. Well, not in Anino like I planned because they haven't replied yet after my initial interview; I guess I didn't get the job. I will be in ITC, yeah, DLSU-D's Information Technology Center and I have better plans that's why I applied there. Hehe. /gg [<--You play RO? You'd get that.]

I smell fastfood. Woohoo! GMO! Salts! Fats! Oil! My tranquilizer! Ahoho! Sweet, sweet tranquilizer. One of the few things that makes me feel better. You have no idea how I almost lost my head today. I'm so sad.. I'm so mad.. I'm so lonely.. I'm so angry.. Burn Pinocchio into coal! Grrr..

Thank God, Bryan's safe. When I heard about the earthquake in Japan, I checked on him immediately. To my relief, he said they live far from where the quake struck. Phew! I miss that boy. He's one of the nicest friends I have and the closest bandmate. He's my fave keyboardist. He's a little weird, well, weirder than I am and that made us friends. I haven't seen him since he left for Japan in 2004. Man, he's into Death Note and told me he'll lend me his DVD when he gets back. When's that? I have no idea. And I hope I already have a either a DVD player or a DVD ROM when he comes home.

Despite my sadness [Yeah, I am. 'Di lang halata], I feel so inspired [Salamat kay Shiawase]. I finally have something new to write. I'll be writing again that book that I started to write when I was in 2nd year highschool. I hope I can finish it before I graduate from college. Goodluck sa 'kin.

3rd SUVASA Art Happening

March 23, 2007
@Terraza Dasma Carpark
Robinson's Place Dasmarinas

~more photos to come. magsasaliksik pa ako ng ibang mga larawan... salamat sa mga nag-take ng pictures. kinopya ko hah, credit ko na lang po kayo.. Domo Arigatou Gozaimashita! hehe ^___^\/

Up, Down, Round and Round

Oh, yeah! Depress-depressan na naman ako. Two subjects down.. flunked.. failed! What else do you want me to call it? Guess who's the loser again? Har-har. No one left to blame but my self.. My self for not being good in math.. For not being good at logic.. For not being good at memorizing formulas.. For not being.. Blah-blah-blah! Like any of it would even matter now. No cruel word can change what already happened, no kind word can make me feel better. I just want to run to **^__^** and hug him [Asa!]. For now, he's the best reason I have to be happy [that's why I'm call him HAPPINESS or SHIAWASE/japanese word for happiness], and, yeah, my cash prize. Haha. I won 3rd place in HF's Alipato Art Contest. Woohoo! I will eat my blues away when I get my hands on that money and continue my **^__^** stalking and sneaking. Hehe. I've been stealing some of his pictures and I will have them printed so I can stare at him all I want. Am I being weird? No. I'm just being normal. I'm normally this weird. Good. Bad. Happy. Sad. Boohoo. Poor me.

Who's my HAPPINESS? Aww.. Secret.

Kalmahin N'yo Ako..

I'm so restless tonight, I can't stop myself from writing another post for tonight. I really need to write or I might explode.

Habang tumatagal, lumalala, laging nagwawala
Tumitindi, umiinit, sumasakit ang dibdib
- Kung Okey Lang Sa'yo, Truefaith

Nahuhumaling... Naaadik... 'Di matahimik sa kakaisip sa'yo. Obsessed? 'Di naman. 'Di lang makontento sa pagtitig sa picture mo. Bitin sa'yo dahil ang cute mo. Kung pwede ko nga lang sabihin sa'yo.. Aww...

Can't wait to see you and talk to you again..

'Yan okay na! Makakatulog na siguro ako pero bago yan, quote ko lang ulit:

Aww.. His smile.. so sweet, even his eyes were smiling. Intoxicating, addictive.. Nakakabitin. Ahaha.. Nahuhumaling ba? Ahoho.. Who am I talking about? 'Wag na noh! Baka sirain nyo lang ang pantasya ko, hehe..  His energy is not as dark as it seemed to me when I saw him before. I'm starting to like him more and more...

The Ultimate Art Experience

SUGOI  ang summer, yeah!

From Monday to Wednesday, I was in school to get some papers signed for my OJT; I had to wait till the CSD faculty returned before I could get the signing done with because they had their recognition day and there's no one in the faculty. The Genshi-officers had their meeting and I am not an officer but I still joined their meeting and at the same time hangout with my Genshiken friends. Laughtrip as usual. The "ghost stories", haha.. which aren't realy ghost stories. They did the planning of activities for next semester while I took some pictures. They started teasing about this manga, Othello,  with my look-alike. Thursday and Friday, I was at PJ's to jam for Friday night's SUVASA performance. Haha, it was a bit tiring [ouch, puyat!] but I enjoyed it. His place [not sure if it's actually his or just renting it] is really cozy and homey. I get to meet new people though not actually new because I see some of them in school, watch movies [yay, portable dvd player!], take pictures [woohoo, stolen!] and listen to good music.

I'll try to recall everything. Let's start from the very beginning.

March 22nd, Thursday. I arrived at Windward a few minutes past five. PJ and his friend, whose name I forgot, just came from Manila after watching their peers' graduation. I remembered, I was supposed to watch my friends' graduation too but it would've made me feel bad because I should be graduating too but.. Blah-blah! Nevermind. Okay, so we sent inside the house. We waited for Erich while we watched a movie. More people came, Joey, then Erick. Erich was the last to arrive. PJ started setting up while the others watched another movie, one of them fell asleep. While the guys played music and jammed, Fiona came and gone too after a short while. PJ mixed with his laptop using Kinetic, a musical software. The there were switching of instruments, music here, music there.. Haha! Jamming talaga! They took some pictures too because Erick brought his camera. I enjoyed the night of good music except for one thing, all of them were smokers. [Haha.. Second-hand smoke. It's just like hanging out with my other friends who are smokers too. I had colds when I came home. ^__^\/ ] I loved sitting at the floor. The place felt so homey, though the low lights hurt my eyes a little, that it was comfortable indian-sitting on the clean, white floor. We were done by 9pm and I got home very sleepy. Hehe..

March 23rd, Friday. I arrived at 2pm. The guys [Erich, Erick, PJ, Stan, Fiona and two kids] were watching 50 First Dates. After the movie, they turned the lights on and clapped. Haha.. Wala lang. I just found it funny because you'd usually hear applauses after a show at theatres and we were just in the living room. Then we went to the garage, there they played the guitar and the banduria [was that a banduria or an octavina? I'm not really sure.] It actually took some time before they can tune the instruments. Of course, I took some pictures. PJ took a little nap. When he woke up, he started setting up. La-la-la.. Erick slept. Haha. Sleepy person. I tried to make a melody out of the few lines that I wrote. Stan left early. Erick and Erich left together. Only the two of us were left, we watched House of Flying Daggers. Master Wind reminded me of Jumong, haha. In the middle of the movie, PJ went to take a bath. Sir Dok came to borrow the instruments. He got dressed, then we had to wait a little longer for the students [DMS members] who were sleeping over because they have to leave early in the morning, before we could leave. I didn't get to finish the movie, hehe. We rode the scooter. Woohoo! Sarap parang roadtrip. Haha. I loved how the wind slapped my face though it was not so good having my hair all over my face. Haha. The ride was fun except for the bouncing because we passed through a lot of humps on the road we took. By past nine, we were already at Robinson's Dasma. The event hasn't started yet when we came. I saw familiar faces, and this guy that looked a lot like my former classmate. he even spoke and acted like him. Haha. Parang sabog lang eh, hehe.. Peace! Vince was there too. I met new people but I can't really remember their names. The first performer was Elemento. Astig! I thought I heard the cry of an angry bird. Galing talaga. Pinatili ang flute. Malupet! There was poetry reading between performances. We were the third to play, and Erich and PJ set up while the emcee spoke. I wasn't nervous but I was lost. I forgot the melody I was singing earlier and I didn't know what to do. So we went on stage. I sat on the floor because I was too shy to show myself. We began. I almost got deaf. The speaker of the guitar that Erich was behind me and I can't hear anything but the guitar. I noticed someone taking pictures, I think he's Roy Cruz. He must have had a hard time 'cause the speakers were covering me. Wala lang. My hair was all over my face, my left hand on my left cheek while I held the microphone in my right. I did what I thought of doing. I sang.. I chanted... La-la-la.. PJ said, "Kami po ang Nyabinghi.", or I think that was what he said and then we were done. Phew!  My legs were almost numb. Hehe.. My fault, I chose to sit on the floor of the stage. I was the first to go down and this lady came up to me, shook my hands, and told me, "Congrats, Ang galing nyo!". I was like, "Ay, thank you po.". Woohoo! Palakpak tenga! Hehehe.. Stan told me we did good. PJ said, "Next time ulit?", Ahoho! Ang saya, yo! I went to Vince and ask how the performance was but..  Haay, naku.. Si Vince talaga! He asked if I sang, hindi ata sya nakinig. Nevermind, hehe.. There, I saw Rex with his nice hair. And he got his ears pierced. Astig. Di lang cuteness, mukha nang rockstar. Skip tayo.. I can't remember everything. So yun. Syempre, Lakbay Lahi. I enjoy watching them perform in school but this is different. Concert mode. Sayang lang, the tables were far from the stage. Organic Sound Orchestra. Hands down. La-la-la.. The event was a success and all the performers were good, and that included us. Hehe.. Though, I think, they could have chosen a better emcee. Hehe.. Peace po tayo, ate emcee! '__' \/ Yeah, I forgot. Artworks were displayed there. Some of which, were the ones that was exhibited at the AEA Gallery. I was even present at the opening of that exhibit and that was where we met Richard Tuason [I think he's part Elemento too but I'm not sure if he was there last Friday] and Loret [Sorry, 'di ko alam spelling] of Elemento, the one playing the flute. Going home, kasabay ko si Heidi. No traffic jam since it was already midnight but it was just unfortunate that some rude [err, maniacal if I should say] men rode the jeep where we were. At first they were just noisy till this girl with two guys came. The girl was wearing thick make up and was wearing a tube top. I think she worked at one of the resto-bars in Rob Dasma. Some of them moved one side of the jeep to give way to the girl, where Heidi was sitting. Naipit na nga si Heidi. By the way the group of guys stared at her especially the guy in blue polo shirt, who by the way looked the most MANYAKIS of them all, they have already stripped her of her clothes and raped her. Poor girl. Kulang na lang, tumulo laway nung mga mayakis na yun. They all went down and urinated at the same time then went to a night bar. Grrr.. Nasty, vile creatures. Nevermind na lang. I just feel like killing whenever I see people like them.

All in all, it was one ultimate art experience. Sana maulit. After this, I have to face another part of my reality. The consequence of failing, of not being good at something, and not even enjoying it. I'll be up for another lifetime of sermon. Haay, buhay...

Weeee! May aso na ulit kami! They named him Jumong. Hahaha..

~Sana nga pala makakuha ako ng pictures nung SUVASA Art Happenings 2007.

Aww.. His smile.. so sweet, even his eyes were smiling. Intoxicating, addictive.. Nakakabitin. Ahaha.. Nahuhumaling ba? Ahoho.. Who am I talking about? 'Wag na noh! Baka sirain nyo lang ang pantasya ko, hehe..  His energy is not as dark as it seemed to me when I saw him before. I'm starting to like him more and more...

Call it.. Invasion

trip lang.. ahahaha

Pictorial sa Chapel Ground

14-March-07

farewell ni maine..

*more photos to come.

Pulp Summer Slam

Start:	Apr 28, '07
Location:	Amoranto Stadium

........

My 21st Birthday

Start:	Jul 5, '07
Location:	Anywhere

Glücklicher Geburtstag zu MIR!!!

ang tanda ko na, whooooooooooooooooh!

Ozine Fest 2007

Start:	Apr 1, '07 10:00a
Location:	SM Megamall Megatrade Hall 2

.....

I Was Made to Hit in America

The SM-Beck Event was a blast! The theme song Hit in America is still ringing in my head. Loads of fun with my Ka-Genshis, picture taking, sushi.. Whooo! We met new people like Nagi-sempai and Mikki-sempai of KamuiGroup, Himitsu Heki an Anime/JPop band and I get to take a picture of myself with Sam Concepcion. Beck is Hero TV's new anime series about a boy and his band, Beck Mongolian Chop Squad. They have bigtime dubbers: Jet Pangan of The Dawn, Raymond Marasigan of Sandwich, Yael Yuzon of Spongecola, Teddy of Rocksteddy.. Etc. I won't get to watch this.. Man, I miss my cable. I used to ignore Hero TV, now I want it so bad.. Sigh..

Yay, exam na.. Nosebleed and eyetwitch na naman ito. Physics pa naman ang una.. Galing ko pa naman sa Math.. Whoooooooooyyaaaaaaaaahh!!!

Yesterday's happening heralded something good for Genshi. I can see it.. Genshiken's second term will be bigger and better than this semester. Next sem.. Yay, exciting! Plus we'll be attending loads of conventions and events.

Ang saya.. My friends, batchmates, cheatmates, tropa, kuffatids are graduating na. March 15 and 16 ang practice nila tapos March 22 ang grad. Iwan na ko.. Awww.. Sige, ipag-martsa nyo na lang ako. Kita-kits sa daan, gimik tayo sa unang sweldo nyo Ahuhuuuu...

Yay, taglish! Pasensya na, my language faculty is not working so well today. Whoooooooh!

3rd SUVASA Art Happenings 2007

Start:	Mar 23, '07 7:00p
Location:	Terraza Dasma (car park), Robinsons Place Dasmariñas

FOOD + MUSIC + POETRY + VISUAL ART + PHOTOGRAPHY + TIANGGEAN

performances by: Elemento + Good Leaf + Ugong + Transitory + Inconnu Ictu +
Clockwork Orange + Nyabinghi + Canopy High + Crucio + Cotton Panty + Barrio
Morning Glory + Lakbay Lahi + Helga

together with Cavite Young Writers Association (with open mic poetry)

Presented by: Souk Kafe
In cooperation with Robinsons Place Dasmarinas

NO DAMAGE!!!

SPREAD THE WORDS!!!

Dunkelheit von seiner Seele

Something is so attractive about him but at the same time something about him scares me. I imagined talking to him to be another kilig-of-a-lifetime moment but it became something like staring death in the eyes. His darkness, his mystery overwhelms me. He is nothing I've ever prepared myself for, out of my league. Fear of him strikes me but all the more I want to get close. I've always wanted to meet someone like him. I want to get to know him more. And I will, you know I have my ways..

I've been hanging out with younger people too much lately. Overfamiliarity is becoming a problem again. They think they can do this and say that just because you're with them almost everyday and you're close. Heck with those kids! I admit they are fun to be with but too much exposure causes annoyance. Better keep a little distance. They are too annoying for their own good. Kids.. Grrrr..

Exam week's up and after that a few week's vacation then OJT.. Whooooooooh! So much to be done, so little time..

Should I stay or should I go? I'm undergoing another fight or flight situation. Demons.. They're everywhere. I wanted to do something, I can do that something but they're holding me back. Doubt, doubt, doubt.. How do I kill doubt? I wish I can read people's mind. Hold me back or push me further?

Wednesday is the Day!

I wanted to see him.. My search for my lost ID lead me to him. I didn't get to talk to him but I get to go here he is, stealthily. Haha.. Stalker mode. Oh, and hyper mode too. The happiness because of "HAPPINESS" has taken over me but.. Sigh.. I almost bumped into him twice but I don't think he noticed me. He didn't recognize me. Awww.. But it's okay 'cause I'll have my chance and I just know it. =)

la déception par-dessus l'agitation

No apology can appease my displeasure. I've had enough of people throwing away what I worked hard for, I'm not taking any more of it. So fed up with that kind of people. What am I to do? I don't know but I will not allow them to do this to me again. Not, never, no more.

I'm getting a new life next school year. It's going to be my last and I have to live to the fullest, fuller than I have in my four years in college. Yeah, it's embarassing. Next year will be my 5th year and I'm only enrolled in a 4-year course. Haha! C'est la vie. I missed an enough lot already and I'm not missing anymore of what I missed; I'm never gonna go miss it again. I will not be damned to stagnation like I have been these past years. I will go to places I've never tried going to before, I will take some people with me but if they refuse to yield to me or come with me for company, I will go alone. I will not be stopped. My free spirit have been held back long enough. I could have flown high already if it wasn't for people trying to hold my feet down to the ground. Ok, I know I've been saying the same thing every start of the year and years come and go with me not having achieved half or any of what I set myself achieving.

Ouraito! So much for the drama. I'm still excited about seeing "Happiness" again..

Weeeeeeeeeh!!!

Shiawase

I tried but they're hopeless. All my efforts are wasted. They don't know how much this means to me and they will never know. They have this love for throwing away easily what other people worked hard for. Friendship is not a factor. I expect too much from people who would not even bother to stop for a while and appreciate. So overrated. I've done something too but now I'm trying to make up for it but everything is plain futile. I have not totally lost faith but I do not know how long and how much I can stand. Am I just wasting my time? But I'm still happy. Looking forward to seeing and talking to "Happiness" again. Weee.. Been waking up from dreams of him lately... Suweeto!! Haha.. Thinking to much, am I? Love it! Love it!

New Found Happiness

I found a new "Happiness". He's mine but I don't own him. I like him but he doesn't know. I rarely see him and talk to him but every encounter makes me happy. That'd what I would call him, Happiness. Haha! Reminds me how my friend calls her crush "Buhay" (life). Just thinking of his sweet smile (that I've seen for only a few times) makes me smile. I'm so happy (Sing with me, sha-la-la, it's so nice to be happy!). I don't mind not having the chance to have him for myself because just knowing he exist makes me feel alive. How long this feeling would last, I don't know but I'm loving it while it does. Nothing can depress me right now. I love my Happiness! Weeeee!

Alright! I won the Design-A-COS-Shirt contest and got 900-bucks richer! I'm so happy. I treated some of my friends with some snacks. And we had fun, as usual. We also went to meet the other guys at the faculty hall and took some pictures. It was fun and stupid to take pictures in the hallway and create small traffic among busy people passing by. That moment was so precious that reality hit me. I won't see most of those faces anymore next year. I'm happy but I can always have some little space for Senti mode. Time ran too fast. It's already been four years and I still can't get enough. We've been through a lot together and looking back I can see how this people affected my life in both good and bad ways. I love my friends! I wanted to graduate with them but fate brought me where I am now and some of the things that happened and other friends that I met would have not happened if I am not here today writing this blog. We may think otherwise, but life goes on with all it's fairness. We do not always see it the way it would have wanted us to but being unfair is the very sense of the fairness of life. Life's fair and I love my life and everything that's coming my way... =)

I went to see the concert for Bro. Andrew tonight at the Museum Complex and it was simply enthralling. The Chorale sang and a past dream awoke in me. I always wanted to join the DLSU-D Chorale but think I'm too lazy to actually join and attend rehearsals. Also, performers from the Conservatory of Music of St. Scholastica's College came to play music and I envied how good they played their instruments. I used to play the piano but that was some 15 or 16 years ago and it's been a long time that I've already forgotten. I'll be studying it again one of these days and hopefully I'll be as good as those Conservatory people.

Happiness! Happiness! Happiness! Can't wait to see him again. Awww...