Deep Silent Complete

Ang mga haciendera. Hahahaha

Photos from Shaira's gigikam [digicam] sa aming "dorm" no'ng yearend.

Maybe, by some chance

And still the journey continues on quiet days as well
The moon in its new cycle shines on the boats again

Maybe, I've found myself a new object of my affection. Not really new since I've written about him already some time last December. The midnight mass, the walk and the talk, my "weird" imaginings, the cheeseburger breakfast [and it's long before that McDo cheeseburger chant became an outbreak]. I've like this one ever since though something in the stars kept telling me that it won't work out between the two of us. I've always been content with just being close friends with the ones I like, same goes with him. It's always a happy day with him. No worries, no expectation, just pure happiness between friends. He's one of the things that made my day today. I sat beside him on a trip home today. We talked a little then a moment of silence. It was nothing awkward really. It was nice even just to sit there silent beside him. Then came the time to say goodbye, I bid him take care and goodbye for the moment since I'll still be seeing him around and be seeing more of him esp. next semester for reasons I cannot tell 'cause that would've reveal his identity. Hahahaha.

I talk to friends about some stuffs about my personal life, ask questions, seek advice but don't really listen to those. I usually ask them for the sake of having asked some advice. But this time, I think it would give me some peace to listen once in a while. I would feel that pain, hear something breaking from inside me once in a while but it works. A good friend told me that "if they don't think they deserve you, chances are, you don't deserve them either". Well, I listened not only because he's my good friend, not because I thought I should listen to people once in a while but because I know he's right. It took me sometime to realize that I never really had a chance, that I was just blinded by my admiration, I was drifting off again to my own world where stories went in ways like that in fairytales, in myths, in books, and in movies, I was giving in again to that dreaminess, that strong want to be loved.

Well, anyway, it's over and done with. And come to think of it, I've suffered more painful things than I recently had like having that one you like most leave without saying goodbye, like my Kawaii Boy, have someone tell use the word "friendship" to say why you can't be together like "Ah Si" or see someone fall in-love with one after other without ever seeing you when you're the one at their side all those time like "Si-Em-Si" and "Fill-in-the-Blank". Anyway, just so you know, I'm not being bitter or anything. Just wanted to emphasize on the gravities of pains I've had in the past. And besides, I still have my Shiawase-niichan.Oh, and my friends too.  Hehehehe. He can never be mine but we'll always be together and we're part of each other's lives now. His exact words: "Hindi na tayo magkakahiwalay. Parte na tayo ng buhay ng isa't isa *sabay kamay at beso*..." Isn't that one big reason to be happy?

I guess this will be the last time I'll be talking about "that" guy [I can't really think of an alias to give him, he's too... Dunno, hard a give name to? Hahahaha] unless the heavens should bring down something upon me to change my mind. Buh-bye to you! But nothing's really changed, you're still one of my good friends. See you around!

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Yay! Been spending the day with Marius today esp. when my class had been cut short because most of the class didn't come today. The professor said maybe their relaxing for today since we had our exam yesterday. I was like, what the heck? I woke up early just for this. Man, the guts of those kids. They come to class everyday just chatting, making noises, sometime they would even eat during class [worse was they were even peeling mangos one time, yes, they brought a bag of mangos], others are just playing with their gadgets, and others stuffs unbecoming of a student. I mean, I'm not being self-righteous, but see, though I know I'm not good at that subject, I still try my best to listen and give the respect due to the teacher. I do ask for some answers from some of my classmates during seatworks and quizzes but other than that, I try the best I could not to show disrespect. I, we all, came there to study [well, not exactly, I mean I just want to pass the subject since it's my third time to take Physics. Wehehe] not for anything else that these kids are doing. Imagine, there were just three of us today, the teacher not included. The teacher was too kind to treat this calmly, I would have been outraged if I were him. Oh, but looky, I'm not him so who cares. I was just telling you what happened today. Hehehehe.

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I so suddenlt thought of something again. Have had sudden change in my trail of thoughts today about some plans for next month [Part of it is the "Where to be: Talamitam or Daguldol? Wel, I've seen Noel Cabangon in person, this time I want to see Joey Ayala, so I want to go to that event in Talamitam]. Not really sure. I'm having second thoughts, I feel like having other plans other than those that have already been lain out. It has nothing to do with my other thoughts and feeling, I just feel like bringing about some change over somethings, out on impulse again, you know me. Hehe. I'm also planning to layout plans for my last semester, for my last year in college. We all have to grow up and before that time of moving on, moving out intothe bigger world, we should make the most out of what we have and where we are now. I have nothing concrete yet but I will tell the world about it once I've started. Hehehe, time for a cool change, ika nga.

◦◦◦

I am really loving Marius. I loved the other vampires too, like Lestat, I even adopted his name. It's how I came to be Lieve LeStat Levesque. I love vampires, I used to be one of them. Hahahaha. Which reminds me, maybe  should bring Lieve back. She's been put to sleep to long, I am Reigusu now. Reigusu and Lieve are a lot different from each other. I love them both, they're both part of my true self but can't have them both here at the same time. I hope I don't sound nuts to you talking about alteregos, the other personas. Wala lang. Nami-miss ko lang and at the same time, nagsasawa na ako sa sarili ko. Kailangan ng cool change. Hahahaha.

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Ayos sa pagka-alright ang Horoscope ko sa friendster ngayon. Sapul, tamang-tama, bukol : Focus surely has its place, but that place ain't nowhere in your life today! Prepare for your mind to wander right now, because wander it will! This is a wonderful time for exploration, when your brain will be coming up with all sorts of outlandish and nutty schemes that will probably never see the light of day -- but that doesn't really matter, does it? Just have fun creating things -- songs, poems, cocktail recipes, funny faces, rhymes, you name it. Ayos talaga. Wala lang.

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Somehow, I miss my BCS friends. I want to bring them out on a day hike for a reunion. Hahahaha. Just imagine their faces. I've known them as swimmers, mall people, barhoppers but never as outdoorsmen. Hahaha. Just imagine their faces, if we ever go on a hike. They're sweaty and tired, definitely whining. Hahahaha. Wala lang. I just miss them And I will take them nature tripping one time. Hahahaha. Yun lang.

◦◦◦

Unlike some few days ago my head seem a lot lighter. Not that it has nothing in it but those heavy things that's been bringing me down seem to have floated in midair. They're still there but I can feel none of their presence. It's good actually. I still haven't got that inspiration, motivation I need to get working on the things I am good at but I feel better, way better than I've had the past weeks. Unlike those days, I don't feel the need to go out and explore the world. I just feel like staying where I am. Just that.

◦◦◦

Okay, guess what? Wala na akong maisip. I've written all I could think of at this moment and well, time to return to Marius. Hahahaha.

Far away, I'm breathing, as if I were transparent
It would seem I was in the dark, but I was only blindfolded

Mt. Talamitam Debut

Start:	May 10, '08 09:00a
Location:	Nasugbu, Batangas

PinoyMountaineer joins Sir Nick Wijangco, the 'guardian' of Mt. Talamitam, in inviting mountaineers and, in Sir Nick's words, our "green friends", to this year's grand event at Mt. Talamitam. As we know, Sir Nick is a tireless crusader of the mountain. Highlights of the event include a cleanup of Calo River, shade tree planting at the peak, and the replacement of Mama Mary's statue also at the peak. When I climbed Talamitam last year, I was shocked to see the statue decapitated. To think that it has been likened as the "guardian of Nasugbu". So we're glad these activities are pushing through. Rappeling and ziplines will also bet set up. The day-long activities kickoff at 9 AM; and at night, a concert will ensue featuring Joey Ayala, Dino Valino, Anitto and Kadangyan bands. Says Sir Nick, "Let us not allow Mt. Talamitam, or any other mountain for that matter, to
deteriorate. "I second the motion! In supporting this event, we would also be sending a message to the locals that we are behind the conservation of the mountain. Anyway it's a Saturday and I encourage fellow hikers to join this event. Registration is P350. For more information, email Sir Nick at nickywijangco@ yahoo.com or contact him at +639176135986.

source: http://www.pinoymountaineer.com

For more info on Mt. Talamitam, check here

Missing Marius

Ilang linggo din kaming magkasama. Sinamahan ako sa aking kalungkutan at pag-iisa. Siya yung nag-iisang naiwan sa tabi ko nang halos iniwan na ako ng natitira kong pag-asa sa mundo. Balak ko sanang igugol lamang para sa kanya ang araw na ito pero sa dahilang di maiiwasan, di kami magkakasama ngayon.

Nakakalungkot. Isang beses lang pala pwede i-renew ang hiram ng libro sa AEA. Asar. Nasa kalahati pa na naman ako.

Buti nakalusot ako noong mga nakaraang linggo. Kasi kung sakali pang-apat na renew ko na ng librong iyo. Kung kailan pa naman nakikilala ko na ng husto si Marius.  Bukas ko pa ulit sya pwedeng mahiram. Pupuntahan ko na agad sya bukas ng umaga bago ako pumasok sa klase. Kita tayo bukas, Marius!

Sana lang walang maunang makahiram sa akin.

Sagada

Dokyu ni Howie Severino

Astig! Pupunta rin ako dun one of these days.

TARA NA, BYAHE TAYO!!!

Nang magising sa katotohanan

Sandali lang ang nilagi ko sa pamantasan ngayong araw. Late na nga ako, maaga pang umalis. Lumabasa lang ako sandali kasi kumuha ako ng exam permit kanina since di pa naman nagsisimula ang klase dahil kulang pa kami. Pagbalik ko galing sa Admin, nakasalubong ko ang ilan sa mga kaklase ko at nalamang wala na daw klase dahil wala nang ile-lesson si Sir at exam na bukas. Potek! Nagmadali pa naman ako. Pinilit kong lakihan ang hakbang at i-extend ng todo ang maiikli kong binti. Pagdating ko sa room, si Sir na lang ang tao dun. Kinuha ko ang gamit ko at nagpaalam pero parang wala syang naririnig. Ako: "Okay, bahala ka sa buhay mo", sabay labas ng room.

Wala pa ang mga usual tambay ng Genshi-kubo kaya kumain na lang ako mag-isa dun sa canteen ni Mommy na mura pero masarap. Kinain ko dun, ung tanging ulam na binibili ko dun, lumpiang shanghai. Tapos sinabawan ko ang kanin ng unlimited gravy at humingi pa ng mahihigop na sabaw. Pagkatapos sumakay na ako pauwi. Bibili pa dapat ako ng takoyaki kaya lang budgetarian ako these days para makasama sa Daguldol.

Pagdating ko sa bahay. Andun ang family friends. Parang may lunch party. Onga pala, magbabasa dapat ako ng libro sa byahe dahil halfway pa lang ako sa Blood and Gold at pang-ilang beses ko na yun ni-renew kaya lang nagsisimula akong magbabaheng dahil sa alikabok. Natulog na lang ako at ganun din, padilat-dilat sa byahe. At wala akong nakitang puting kambing. Hahahaha. Anyway, so yun nga. Daming tao, diretso ako sa kwarto. Antok, busog pa at pagod sa byahe nagset ako ng alarm. Napahaba tulog ko. Umabot sa dalawang o

Omen, oh, men?!

Papasok kaninang umaga, napasakay ako sa trike na medyo madaldal ang driver. Chika naman kami ni kuya. Nag-lecture tungkol sa edukasyon. Nakiusap si kuya na idaan muna sa bahay nila 'yong yelong binil nya sa bahay nila dahil matutunaw. Eh di ako naman, okay lang po kuya. Makailang beses ata sya nag-sorry. On the way sa bahay nila, may isang lote. Doon ako nakakita ng apat ni itim na kambing. Okay, kambing lang 'yon. Nang makarating sa Toll Bridge, sumakay ako ng jeep tapos tulog sa byahe. Padilat-dilat minsan baka kasi malapit na ako. Sa may bandang Salitran na, sa isang lote ulit, nakakita na naman ako ng apat na kambing pero ngayon brown naman. Naisip ko, hindi ako magtataka kapag mamaya makakita naman ako ng apat na puting kambing.

Weird.

Ano kaya significance ng kambing sa araw na ito? *meeeeeh (isang futile effort na gayahin ang kambing)*

This time, I'll...

                   
                                
             
                               
          







    
    

    
    

    
    
    
    

                
  
             
        
                  
   


       
    
    



~ di na muna kita iisipin, itatago muna kita sa isang sulok ng isip ko, siguro paminsan-minsan magsusulat pa rin ako tungkol sa'yo pero sa ngayon... 

IKAKAIN KO NA LANG ITO.