Heal

Balik-sigla! I'm starting to talk Shakespeare again. Life is coming back at my half-dead self. Last week, so far, is the most physically exhausting and emotionally draining week I've had ever since the year started. Unfortunately, I also missed the Superman tumblers at KFC because of last week's commotion. Well, I'm slowly... uh, what do you call this... Recovering. Getting the good vibes back. Whooohoo!



Everything I imagined to be perfect, everything I think I worked hard for seem to have lost its significance. The pain somehow departed, though particles still hit me on the face while it flies with the wind but I'm better than now than I've been during the weekend. I just hope nobody spoils it. Tranquility, serenity... I'm almost there.



I'm starting to read this book Beast. I've no idea yet about the gist but judging the cover, it's good. But as the fabulous Melanie said, don't judge the book, read it! Hahaha...



Palad again! I'm ready, I'm coming. It's my fourth Palad seminar. Yehey! Ganda, Creative Writing, Scriptwriting, Poetry... Weeee!

Random Whateverness

By the sea, sa labas ng MoA. Wahaha! Mga walang magawa.

Moments... wala lang!

Mind Kill

Why does everything have to be struggle? All the time it's the same thing, it's a fight or flight situation for me. I seem to be intentionally disappointing my self. What I dreamt of to be perfect ends up to be such mess. My self-esteem is evaporating and I'm drying up. I'm running out of restraints and patience, losing my calm, I feel like bursting out in fury. I need to rejuvinate somehow. Somehow...



Someone just plucked my last nerve yesterday. Sayang, I almost hit him but he caught my arm and someone passed behind him. One more word from him and I'll make sure I break his nose. I've kept my rage long enough. Just one more offensive joke, wherever we are, whoever you're with, you will get hurt. But worry not, I'll send myself to the University Discipline Office afterwards if you wish it, as long as I get my revenge. It'll be worth dirtying up my record. If he only knows that I've already murdered him inside my head. I imagined myself beating him up, battering him to death. He laid bleeding, and his existence is at my mercy. Hahaha!



This is evil but I'm just being true. I'm angry and I will tell it as I feel it.

Another day

Tuesday night has been so cruel. Storm outside, tears flow, and emotions stirring all over the place. That night was more hellish than the hell week we call exam week.



Wednesday made me sore. Tireless walking along the corridors of SM Mall of Asia. The trip was of short notice and I wasn't prepared. My limbs still hurt till now. Felt like I worked out five hours straight. Ouch! Despite the "hurt", I still enjoyed yesterday. I literally froze the whole day. I wake up in the freezing cold of dawn, then Patrick's car airconditioning, then MoA's skating rink, then the aircon again. Heck! The temperature was really sleep-conducing, and I slept during the travel then laugh along when I'm awake while the guys played with Veronica and play "gay" with each other.



Before that I went to watch ES jam. They were supposed to play for the COS GA but they had no practice. It was fun but there was some annoying emo boy who would open the door of the studio to peep and there was this guy who went in to seat. I don't know why. And before that, I had yet again one of the greatest insults I will ever receive from stupid, pathetic creatures who are lesser humans than I am. It's arrogant and immodest to say but I mean it and that serves them well. I'm not saying their name, but furious as I am today, I give myself the honor of vituperating them without them knowing it. Backstab, baby! Tried and I'm tired. I hope they get to read this. Wahaha!



No matter how happy doing the things you love can be, sometimes you can never help but feel so uninvited. What used to be my stage is not mine anymore. My last bow... Bow-wow-wow! Bwahaha! Who cares?! I can set another stage for myself. Beat that.



Thursday can never be more cruel. Reluctance, desperation, frustration and desperation. I failed myself again. I dreamt too much, miscalculated, missed my aim and worst... Expected to much from other people. I had it already, and this time it's really over. It's either I do it alone or I don't do it. I'm not mad though, just a bit upset but other than that I'm doing great. So good to have sweet distractions to make me forget for a while. Sometimes I wonder how it would feel to be lost inside your head, seeing only beautiful things, not having to experience the harshness of the world outside. I have enough strength to keep my peace and sanity but what if I don't. Maybe, I'd be happier. *smiles faintly*



I'm currently reading the love story I've fallen inlove with a thousand times. My heart is simply overwhelmed. Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy but it gives me all hopes with love. You definitely won't understand. Anyway, I thought I have outgrown my love for Amy Lee and Evanescence but I'm living that love again. Wala lang.



The winds of change is singing to me. Shall I hear more of it or shall I answer. Can I be bold enough. I'll think about it.

Love it!

Now what? First, the storm then now the SONA, then the storm again. I've been out of school for three days now. I stayed home last Friday because I got no exam scheduled for that day, then classes were suspended on Monday so the whole country can listen to the president and his minions clap orchestratedly as she says every line. So staged and scripted, but not so satisfying. She proclaims ear candies every year but there's hardly an output. The storm and the SONA came at the same day, and imagine the storm's name was the same as that of the president. Wahaha! They had to change it to Glenda to show some respect. Heck! They didn't really have to. The country's been in calamaity ever since and it just keep getting worse. Everyday is a GLORIA moment. What a waste?! I do need some disruptions sometimes but not today, just not a good time. The postermaking contest was supposed to be last Monday but that stupid SONA has to come and ruin my schedule and plans. OUST GLORIA! Wahaha!



Don't rule-breakers rock? Madonna made it to the top of rule-breaking videos. I'm not a Madonna fan but I love it when someone breaks free from the norm. Wehehe! PASAWAY!



Oh, yeah! I've seen the Mahiwagang Baul last Sunday. My Cogs is as gorgeous as he's always been and I believe he'd do good in a Tele-Fantasia. Can't wait for his next tv appearance or better, a regular show. Finally, I found some picture of him from the Animax Sundown Party. Love it though there are some alien creature with him in them, Aw!



This is rad, I'm obsessing on Leonard Whiting's young self. Awwwee! I don't know. I just feel in-love with my Romeo and started to download a lot of his old pictures and put up this page in Multiply. I love this feeling, having my imaginary prince wearing young Leonard's face. I think the real Leonard is in his 50s already but who cares. I will paint him one day with me [talk about manipulation] and I'll post his pretty face on my wall [I plan to paint other guys too like Christopher Reeve, Brandon Routh, Johnny Depp, Cogie et al]. I'm not into the old him, who's probably married and has grandchildren, but the him that was him before I was concieved or my parents even met. I'm so obsessed that I'm currently fooling my cousin to believing that the avatar [which is a picture of Olivia and Leonard walking, hilding hands] I'm using in my YM is me and some special guy. I'm actually flattered that she thinks that it was really me because she's a bit of the same figure as I am in that picture or maybe it's the dress [as if I'd really wear a dress]. The picture quality is quite good that you wouldn't know, unless you're a fan, that it was taken some 30 years ago. Whatever! I'm just loving this! She's playing, I'll play along. Yeehah!



This is interesting, Leonard looks a bit like one of my friends, Carlo. If could only be a bit neater, try preppy fashion, lighten the hair color a bit, comb his hair... Hunk muffin! Wahaha! Peace!



Yay! Visitors from Europe, USA, Far East, Japan and Taiwan. Thank you, thank you!

My Love, Romeo - Wherefore Art Thou?

http://myloveromeo.multiply.com

Red Sunday

http://ilovecogie.multiply.com