We all have our own set of feelings. It may all be the same feelings but comes differently to different people. I know how I feel about feelings when I feel it but I don't know how it feels like to other people hen they feel it. I claim to know it all but the truth is, I just assume that I know. Realizing how I've been for the last ten years, I've been self-centered. I cared genuinely for the people I cared for with all sincerity I can give but my priority's always been myself. I don't know. There's just so much I want to get out of life and most of the time I just had to do things myself to get it and the people around aren't always of great or not even any help. It made me independent in my own sense, a bit untrusting, and insensitive. It's not always bad but not always good either. It messes with me, my personality and my feelings, and how I interact with people, but it makes me different. Haha. Why am I saying this? Well, I just want to sympathize with the people who didn't get to see the world the way I did. At 20, I still haven't seen a lot but the very little that I've seen was shown to me by the world and my fate in a different light like a work of art; Different colors, different media, different lightings, different techniques, different angles, different expressions. You learn to appreciate beauty and make an art yourself.
Well, well. I guess that's not bitin anymore. Aw-aw! Hehe.
Christmas time is coming... my wishlist is getting longer but... You have to know what the real problem here is... Clue? It's made of special kind of paper, printed with a special kind of ink, and the other form is made of some metals. It's so unfair having to think that the people who has "it" and has more than they need just don't appreciate it and throw it some place. I wish I get to have the same kind of privilege but I can only wish. Nothing else. I wasn't born with that lifestyle but maybe if I work hard, I, too, can live the "life". Another thing annoying me right now... Those you think are less deserving gets to realize your dream earlier than you can. Seems like this is how close I can get for now from living my fantasies. Envy? Not really. I just don't understand why others have to have that much already early in their life and I don't. People younger than me have gone so much further than I already have. Makes me sick of this ordinary life. I think, I believe, I know I deserve better, there's a lot of so-much-better things.
I just wish I so much more that I already have, and things get a lot better than this. I just wish.
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