Friday, October 23, 2009

Professed

Things can only stay as they are for a span of time. Everything is bound to change, eventually.

I just feel it. It could be nothing or I am again weary of how my life's been going. I'm sick with colds right now but I will heal, but my weariness, it rests for a while but it's always there. It's frustrating. It's like waiting for something that would never come. It's so hard to prove your worth, if you're even worth anything, when that 'time to shine' never comes. I want so much in life but I can't seem to get them. Maybe I just can't read the signs? Do I not recognize opportunity when it hits me? Ewan. It's been almost a year but I'm still here, not moving, not going anywhere. Just here.

Grabe. Had fever for a few days last week. Colds naman now. Sneezy face. Huhu.

What now? I don't get to see Crushie as often as I want but he gets cuter and cuter every time I get to. I wanted to let him know how I feel but I still can't get the courage to come up to him and say it to his face. I can't even write his name when I do write something about him like this part of the post. I don't see him that much but when I do he says things or does something that makes me feel good or better. Even a simple smile, his distance, his closeness, his mere presence, and even a forwarded group message. I bet it'll weird him out if he reads this. All I know, I love admiring him from a far especially when afar is just inches away. It's almost a year na pala when I first saw him, been held by his charm since then. It may be too much to say but he's reason enough to live, knowing he exists makes you think how wonderful life is. I like him so much, and it could even be love, but at the back of my head something tells me I can never have him, he will never be mine. Hirap. Just imagine, I get jealous of a lot of other people wala naman akong right. Nyeh. I wanted to show motives, clues that I like him but I am not that brave. I'll do better jumping off a cliff. Naku. I have so much more to say pero kung di nya maririnig, ano'ng halaga nun? Weh?! Haha may ganun talaga?! Basta more Ivan Love post next time. Oops, I said his name. Haha. Bleh!~

Ano ba yan? I'm still sneezing my brains off. Konti na lang lalabas na yung utak ko. Konti pa masisinghot ko na ang 3-D world. Haha.

Saw some of my so-missed friends this week. Nakakatuwa. Had the most shocking culture shock of my lifetime. First time ko nakakita ng ganon . Ano yon? Nyahaha. Sabi ni Ken, Art Philosophy 'yun. I don't understand other people's Art kaya siguro it shocked me, but, well, there's a first time for everything. Hehe. Might stop playing Ultimate na. I don't know. It grew old, I grew tired, I think people are being indifferent. So yun. Time for change. At saka I can't really go on doing the same thing every time. Minsan.. Madalas.. Ngayon, nakakasawa. Nakakatamad na. Oma [Grandma] and Opa [Grandpa] is coming home from Germany in a few days. Haven't seen them in years. Dunno what the plans are but I know it's going to be good. Malapit na ulit birthday ni Christian. Nagre-request ulit ng video message from Survivor. This time from Amanda naman. Well, I will definitely get it for him if I get to attend another SP EB. Sana lang. Can't wait to see Mika. I don't know. I feel this affinity. Siguro kasi she's 'close' to Kiko and Kiko is one of those people I look up to. Feeling ko may connection kami. Weh?! Haha. Yay, Induction climb in a few days na rin. Mga two weeks or less. Weeeh. Sana makasama ako. Kailangan makasama ako. SASAMA AKO!!! Zambales here I come! Hehe.

Plants Versus Zombies muna. I reformatted the PC a few days ago so it's back to zero for me.

Buh-bye!

PS: do you know any alternative cure for colds? We ran out of medicine and I'm kind of sneezing my brains off right now. My colds got worse than yesterday. Hala.

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