Thursday, December 3, 2009

Like to Like Like

I had a dream. Two consecutive nights, same person. Kinda like sequels but the catch is, he's someone I've never even met.

It was a good dream. There was him. There was I. We met we fell in love. The second day, we said goodbye. It was almost real. Kinda like lucid dreaming but I am slowly forgetting. I don't know. He has name, I remember calling him by it but I don't remember it now. And his face, I don't remember his face. It's just weird. I mean, falling in love with someone you've never even met, and just forgetting them. He could be anyone, but I'm sure he's not someone I know. I don't remember his features but I know I don't know him. What if he's someone I'm going to meet in the future? I think that would make a good storyline. I could write a good romance novel out of this. I don't know. I just wish I'd see him again. In dreams or in person, so I'd know if.. Hmm, I don't know. He could be the future love of my life. Hahahaha. Hey, I can dream.

Anyway, I've been thinking, is it time to channel my romantic hopelessness to someone else instead of that-certain-someone-that-you-know-like-so-much-because-I-write-about-him-all-the-time? Well, I still like him so much but he makes me feel like I'm already over-the-edge hopeless with him. We hardly even talk. We converse better through SMS than we do in actual talking. I try my best at small talks but I don't have that much small talk powers with him so my odds with him in conversation is pretty, oh, I don't know, hopeless? And I don't see him often. And I am starting to like this other guy and I feel like I have better chances in being close friends with this one than with him. I don't know. But I had pretty close encounters with him yesterday during our drill while on duty as medical assistants at the CBA Sportsfest. It's like, everything is always changing with him, or is it just me. He could be warm and personable at times, and sometimes he seem so cold and distant. It's like I can't enter his world. Reminds me of that line from Honey and Clover:

In a world you can't enter, there's no distance to that place.

Which is right, right? There is no getting to where no entry is allowed and unless he lets me in like his other friends, I don't think I'll ever be part of his world where I want to be. I still like him so much and he's one of those things and people that I can't get myself to let go. I like him so much that I guess you could say, I already love him. For some reason, I think he already knows but I get this feeling that.. Aw, nevermind. I doubt if he'll ever feel the same way about me but I believe it's safe to say that I am now part of his life just knowing the fact that we know each other. I wonder how he'll feel if he gets to read this.

Okay, about that other guy. Okay, he's also younger than I am. He's so cute and lovable. Makulit in a cute kind of way. Fun to be with. I get to actually talk to him, and get a few laughs. Looking at him makes me smile. Our eyes meet and we smile. It could be nothing or it could mean something. Hahahaha. I like him and I'm starting to like, like him. Ahlahvet.

There are so much more meaningful, more blog-worthy things I could write about but major crushing is so keeping me alive right now. So, yeah, I'm writing about it and you will read more of it when I get back for my next post. Hah!

2AM. Need to Dragon UP! American Dragon Jake Long is up in a few minutes. BYE!

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