Monday, July 30, 2007

DAISUKI, My Shiawase...

Could you possibly be aware that I am thinking of you? That I like you? Do you know from the beginning that I wrote those melodramatic things about you? I hope you don't mind me obsessing on you. Hehehe. I just like you a lot [daisuki! daisuki!] even from the first time my friend introduced me to you. You may not remember but that is something special to me. That's when I started loving that sweet smile of yours. Well, I'm not hoping to be your girlfriend or anything. I'm just glad we met and I can say we're friends though we're not close, though we hardly talk and see each other. I'm just happy you became part of my life and I hope I'm part of yours too. Wala lang. Kita-kits na lang sa school!

  Something is so attractive about him but at the same time something about him scares me. I imagined talking to him to be another kilig-of-a-lifetime moment but it became something like staring death in the eyes. His darkness, his mystery overwhelms me. He is nothing I've ever prepared myself for, out of my league. Fear of him strikes me but all the more I want to get close. I've always wanted to meet someone like him. I want to get to know him more. And I will, you know I have my ways.. [[--Dunkelheit von seiner Seele, leigs--]]

I knew I needed a break but I never thought I'd need it so soon. I intentionally and deliberately skipped school today. I was looking at my academic calendar, the scheduled events and activities in my date note, everything I have to get done, everything I have to pay for, everything that will keep me busy this semester. I'm getting too intense over things before they even happen [accdg. to Friendster Horoscope: your active subconscious jumps in and tries to hijack your mind]. Talk about being 'futuristic'. Preoccupation overload. Good thing I decided last night not to go to school today; With all the apprehension, frustration, stress, mental burnout... I would've been a mess. Add to that, I was thinking of... Yeah, him. Haha. It would've been a lot easier to go through all of these knowing the one you care for cares for you too, kahit imaginarily lang, neh? Oniisaaan! Hehehe.

Friendster Horoscope for July 30, 2007. Cancer (Jun 22 - Jul 22) Concentration is a skill that you're still trying to master when it comes to a certain challenging task, and the good news is that today you will get the opportunity to have one more lesson. It might sound contradictory, but if you can just be prepared for your mind to wander, you will be able to maintain all the focus that you will need. When you get too intense on just one thing, that's when your active subconscious jumps in and tries to hijack your mind. Relax, and you'll stay on point.

I feel better now but I'm hoping for better things tomorrow and the coming days. I dunno but I was so stressed this afternoon, I almost cried hearing Tonight, Tonigh, Tonight playing on TV. My stupid cellphone is one of the many things that gave me too much stress. I wouldn't wonder if someone will tell me I look like I'm 21 already. Well, I am 21 but I like it when people think I look younger than I really am, that's probably because of the way I handle stress but when things get out of hand, I go berserk, I become panicky, I get stressed, I look haggard. And who wants that, neh? And I don't really mind getting stuck at looking 18. Bleh!


Dry spell. That's why I'm always icky and sweaty and... Smelly? Hehehe...

  Sooner or later when the dust is clear... The sun comes out, you're still 
 here... Look at what you've found... It's all good now 

 [[
all.good.now.sheila.mccarthy]]


6 comments:

  1. hihihi hopeless romantic ka pala
    u go girl, bag that cutie
    hmm xa ba yung napapadaan sa hf? haha

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  2. I've never felt anything like that for a long time now...except a mere shadow of it a few weeks ago.

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  3. as for me, i've always felt like this.. as weizel said, i'm a very hopeless, hopeless romantic...

    a mere shadow? so it never lasted, huh?

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  4. I don't know...I just said it was a shadow because it wasn't as strong as it was before. but well, I felt bad about it because I keep convincing myself it would turn out for the better. well, you know what comes next...

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  5. well, i am hopefully hopeless...

    maybe what you're feeling now is for the better. maybe it's meant to just come and go like a shadow.. maybe.. uhh.. oh well...

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