Monday, June 9, 2008

Taut thoughts?

A kid once indirectly said to me: once you've discovered your dream, you have to live it, do it right away. Looking back at how my life has gone and kept going, I am nowhere near my dreams, not even halfway there. I could only imagine how it would be for me if I chose a different direction. Like a navigator with a fork trail ahead. All directions is the right way but lead to different trailheads. Like anyone else, I have a lot of things I want to happen in my life. I am enjoying, and very thankful about some parts of my life but not everything. There's so much more that I want. It would have been better or it would have been worse if I went the other way, opposite from where I am now. But then again, I will never know how things will be for the things I never allowed to happen. But I still believe in fate, in destiny. Maybe I was meant to take the longer path to making my dreams happen. I want to believe that I am only being prepared for something more than what is coming, something bigger that what I am now...

But then again, it's just some random thought I had the other night. I am bored and even sick of how my life's turning out to be, of what is happening and of what is not happening. Nothing new. I would usually have nothing to do but stare at the ceiling, or the wall, or out the window where Polaris is the only star see, or into the darkness that is, seemingly, the only thing I have with me at the moment.

I am so bored and I am hungry.

Have you noticed the beautiful men and gorgeous women of this lifetime? I was looking at my collection of Leonard Whiting pictures. He is now, probably, at his 70s. But the pictures I have of him was when he was still in his 20s and he's so damn hot and beautiful. I was just thinking, wouldn't we all have wished that beauty would never fade? That one can stop growing old when he/she chose to. That we could stay in our state of youthful beauty till the day we die? Or that immortality existed, and we would never die like the deities of ancient civilizations? Or that eating ambrosia would help us live through eternity? Beauty seemed to have been meant for existence only in memory. We grow up and grow old little by little everyday. Wala lang, bigla ko lang ulit naisip. *wink*

I finally found a solution but I still haven't got that solution at hand.  I'm talking about my cellphone. It wouldn't charge and it was the same problem I had when I last brought to for fixing some time last year, and I wouldn't want to have it fixed for that anymore so I'll buy a battery charger instead. Does anybody know how much that costs? I can't buy a new phone yet, and I can't have it fixed yet. Moolah problems. Hahaha. So I just need to know how much it costs so I can save money to buy it. Gahawd.

School starts again on Wednesday and I still haven't got my enthusiasm for things back. Same old brand new blues: I am lacking new things to look forward to. The world is closing in on me, bad vibes are trying to get me. I'm so stuck here. Got nowhere to escape to. Inspiration is there but not flowing. Stuck. Stuck. Stuck and it sucks.

I'm stuck and I'm hungry.

Being stuck here, where I sit down and type these words, some people can't help but be annoying and their annoying existence won't just stay stuck wherever they are. I won't be elaborating because, for sure, may tatamaan. Sapul. Bukol for sure. Wahahaha. Sorry I have to avoid you before I get even more annoyed. I'll give you some space so you can take off your Cape of Annoyance which causes +5 annoyance to those you encounter. Nevermind. I'll let you off for now. *bleh

I went to tour the froshies last week and watched the show that was prepared for them. Tiring day but I enjoyed a lot and I got a shirt.

I already sent my entry for the haiku contest organized by the Japanese Embassy and UST. I hope I make it. Who knows, I might get a free trip to Japan or whatever prize they are going to give the winners. Wahahaha.

Gutom na talaga ako at kakain na ako.

Nyaaaaam!

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