Sunday, August 24, 2008

I dreamt a dream

I wanted to sleep some more maybe I'll know what happens next. But the dream have locked itself in my subconscious forever or maybe till the next night that I sleep again.

It began happy. I was back at that place, a part of my youth, with these people whom I've known all my life. We were talking about a lot of things and laughing until a slip of tongue turned the sweet dream into a dreadful one. News was broken to me, he's gone. Someone who  was once a special part of my life has departed. The cause of death: murder. The secret was kept to me for reasons that I do not fully understand.

Preventing from knowing maybe to protect... from mourning for a loved one? Could there be anything crueler than keeping a human from feeling human emotions especially those called to mind by significant events in that human's life? I don't really understand.

It's just a dream. But for all I know, it could be true; I have not seen him for years and the last time I heard from him was last year when he called for my birthday and sira ang phone ko during my birthday this year so I wouldn't know if he texted or tried to call to greet me and to think that he never forgets to every year. I have not been so nice to him since we went separate ways and I've always been the one hurting him but he never gave up on me.

I saw his family, a few blocks away. I went out then it started to rain. I raised my head up and opened my arms to catch the rain. I went for my cousin's bike to visit the places  where we used to tryst. My eyes opened and I woke up in bitter tears.

Would it have made me feel better if I knew what happened next? I wouldn't know now.

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